Brave Enough to Walk Away from Drama

They strike at the office.  They seek out the opportunity to do it at family gatherings.  They attack your friends and loved ones without mercy.  They are ‘drama queens’, otherwise known as the ‘pot stirrers’.  Like a contagious virus on the kindergarten playground they spread unwanted, harmful, nasty and sickening things around.  And what a shame...

Drama is commonly created by those who are bored and/or unhappy with their own lives. It’s almost like they feel empowered by distributing untruths and half truths when in reality they are actually belittling themselves in front of an audience.  Sometimes the stories are made up in search of attention and approval. 

Here’s a couple of questions to ponder:  Why would someone intentionally deceive?  Are they insecure or jealous?  Do they feel insignificant?  Do they attack other people because it makes them believe they superior, grander, bigger, more important?  

This morning I wrote to a dear friend, whom I've known most of her life, the following (edited slightly):  “Here’s my advice:  Be who you are, live with no regrets, laugh as often as you can, LOVE every precious moment, and never ever allow someone to bring you down into that negative energy ~ be with those people who lift you spirits.  And simply walk away from the drama.” 

Years ago while sitting at a desk being verbally assaulted by two co-workers, I wrote the following as I cried internally: 

“I will not fight back nor

will I argue with you.

I am not weak.

This is my choice.

I am strong.

I see, respect and love

the person you are.

And forgive you for your actions.”

-Cindy Kochis

Walk away from the drama.  It sounds more difficult than it really is because the fear is of what will they do to me next looms in the dark crevasses of the mind.  It takes courage to say, “Enough!”  If you are the one they must share the gossip with, redirect the conversation to one that is more pleasant and uplifting.  Once they realize you do not want to partake in the drama, they'll stop talking to you about it.  If you are the recipient of the attacks, do your best to live your life the best you can and try, try, try to ignore them.  Be kind to yourself and listen your heart as it gently speaks your truth.  Please don’t be afraid to ask for help and support.  There are countless people who can and WILL help you. 

And when you are willing and able, maybe you can help them.

Love or Retaliate - A Simple Matter of Choice

Ending a relationship is never easy for either person.  Based on perception, memories may filter into your mind like a romantic movie or resemble a horror flick.  The choice is really up to you.  No one else can make you think your thoughts.

"Truly there is no reason why the two of you cannot remain best/close friends; loving each other unconditionally. Love is the best gift you can share with each other." -Cindy Kochis

The greatest gift the two of you can share with each other is unconditional love, respect, support and the ability to honor each other's path.  Be grateful for the time together and move forward without attempting to mar, manipulate, or destroy the person with whom you previously intertwined into your life.  The love and experiences you two shared are not meant to simply fade away. 

No matter the mental pain, no matter the history, no matter the gut-wrenching heartbreak ~ allow the tears to flow freely.  Bless 'em; bless him; bless yourself.  Explore various options in learning how to heal and transform the unloving memories/emotions so you can experience the lessons and let go of the 'stuff' that prevents only the love to remain within your heart.  

A Set of Footsteps

A few years ago, on my way to the job I’d cry driving to and home from, I begged my Divine Companions for help. “Please show me love. Show me that someone actually cares… I would like to experience love.”  Oh, little did I know what the following two plus years would bring.  Careful what you ask for is a slight understatement.  I am grateful.

A question I’m often asked is, “Why would you stay in a job that causes so much heartbreak.”  The reason is simple – intuition affirmed there was an abundance of lessons to be experienced.  Awareness would be brought forth either there or the next place of employment or the next until I embraced Self.  It was my choice on how I followed through with the Shadow work – gracefully or face-plant in the dirt.  I did both. 

"The most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently." -Pema Chödrön

I wrote, “I will not fight back not will I argue with you.  I am not weak.  This is my choice.  I am strong.  I see, respect and love the person you are.  And forgive you for your actions.” while three co-workers eagerly attempted to tear ME down with some of the most vicious manipulations.  Weeks, months, a period of time later, I spoke with a dear friend and described how it felt like my tower of Self crashed to the ground in a hopeless pile of rubble; I was broken; wondering how was I going to rebuild?  He smiled, and asked why, since I was provided this opportunity, would I want to use the same bricks and foundation?  Defeated and desiring to curl up in the fetal position, all I could think was, “I don’t wanna start over.”  It took a while to fully grasp his words.

Intuition strengthened.  

Choices made.  

Appreciation of Self evolved. 

“It does not matter what the opinions of the outer world are, but it does matter greatly what is within your feeling.” –Guy W. Ballard

We are experiencing life, perceived only by Self.  Truth is in the eye of the beholder is a profound statement.  The descriptions of love, hate, joy, sadness, wealth, poverty will vary based on emotional interpretations of a person in a particular moment.   Tomorrow the definitions will be altered by an action, event, situation, and so forth.   

"When your mind starts telling you what you have to do to make everything okay, don't buy into what it's telling you. The truth is, everything will be okay as soon as you are okay with everything. And that's the only time everything will be okay." -Michael A. Singer

I am grateful for the hardship of the past couple of years.  For me, it confirmed there is no right, there is no wrong, it just is.  Each of us has an important role and purpose.  It reaffirmed the power of our words – especially when the sentence begins with “I am”.  Everything we seek outside of ourselves is available to us – within our heart.  The fear of loneliness, fear of failure, fear of this, fear of that is imagined… it is only an illusion. 

There are choices.  Do you wish to follow the crowd (and their interpretation of how life is supposed to be)?  Do you independently take each footstep on your journey influenced only by Self’s desire?

Unexpected Christmas Gift

Last Wednesday as we sat facing each other, he cut me off before I could complete my statement, "I'm an easy target for them because I won't fight back. I will not participate in their meanness; there's no reason for it. It's only meant to hurt people in a feeble attempt to feel better about themselves." I sighed, "(They've) cut me down to my core with their wicket words, manipulations and need to continue their nasty dramas. They destroyed my Self-image and now I'm rebuilding..."

"Why would you want to use the same bricks and 2x4's?" he interrupted. "It'll only collapse again. If it didn't work the first time..." he paused for a moment, "You have the opportunity to begin from the ground up. You have changed - evolved - and what once served you, no longer does. Do you really want to rebuild the old you?"

"Nobody is superior, nobody is inferior, but nobody is equal either. People are simply unique, incomparable. You are you, I am I. I have to contribute my potential to life; you have to contribute your potential to life. I have to discover my own being; you have to discover your own being." -Osho

On the night of December 25th, as I lay with my head on the pillow staring into the darkness of nightfall, I heard his voice again - reminding me. "You have the opportunity to begin from the ground up." The heartbreak I endured Christmas morning caused me to notice things about mySelf I was unaware of - habits, taught patterns, learned beliefs of Self.

As the event was occurring, guilt, rage, anger, self-demolishing thoughts filled my mind. For hours after the altercation, I remained in the destructive mode; tearing every shred of my being to smithereens. I'm not worthy.

"Oh my! Did I really think that?"

With that one sentence, I slammed on the brakes to stop the descent into the spiraling out of control vortex that consumed me. An awareness deeply rooted within my soul was forced out of the shadows. I gathered internal strength to build a new foundation - reaffirming the person I truly am. Blessing the situation for the awareness it brought forth, it was released with love and light. IT was let go without strings attached. In the silence of my still mind, I send love and gratitude to all that have shown me their perceptions of me. It is not mine to alter; there is nothing to fix. It is as it is. Everyone has the freewill to develop, maintain and nurture their beliefs of themselves and others. Someday they will see the real me. Until then, I cherish who I am.

I love you. I thank you. All is forgiven. Blessings to all.

Slumbering Emotions

Dreams are just another way for us to explore and release unresolved emotions. Deep within there may lay in waiting hidden secrets of things we've either done or witnessed and, in some cases, feelings that percolate up from a space we had no idea existed.

As the details of the slumbering memories fade as I awaken and merge more into this day, there is still a part of me that is hurting, sad and regretful. It involved family, forgiveness and love.

"If you haven't cried, your eyes can't be beautiful." -Sophia Loren

When you wake from a dream that shakes you at the core, and emotions are very tender, do you do everything you can to forget them or do you put forth the effort to "react"? By that I mean, when you awaken, are you willing to cry and release the residual emotions? Do offer forgiveness to Self and all involved? Do you take a moment to say, "thank you" to the awareness? Can you, or are you willing, to say to Self, "I love you unconditionally"?

Evolving Into Peace

Words laced with poisonous venom fill the minds of many as the ballots have been tallied and the election results published. Like a vicious cycle of a dog chasing its tail, it doesn’t matter who wins or loses, few will accept the outcome and the perception of government will remain the same.

A belief is a belief that you keep thinking. Plain and simple. If you continue to believe that government is corrupt and has filled with lying bastards who are only lining their pockets with special interest money; guess what, that’s what you’ll get. It is the Law of Manifestation.

For your own personal sake, turn the angry thoughts to compassion, forgiveness and support. Yes. Let go of the fear or knowing that they will ‘screw it up’ for what you seek will be found. Start by acknowledging the elected official has a job that few are willing to pursue. Support their courage. Forgive them for (what you believe to be) previous bad judgments. We are human and will make mistakes; it’s how we learn. Compassion to give them the understanding in knowing they have their lessons to experience.

Let go of the fear (evolving from the election). Convert it to compassion and forgiveness. Support the individuals (everyone involved) in a loving manner. This is a pivotal point in how we perceive elected officials and our emotions/vibrations will impact our future.

A belief is a belief we keep believing. Fear can evolve into Peace...if you allow it.

Interwoven Messages

Fear is a belief. Fear from a past life can affect this life. Fear is part of our shadow work; an aspect of Self to be nurtured and seen for what it really is ~ withdrawal from Love.

In a conversation with a friend, I asked him if it was okay to tell him something he may or may not believe. He was open to what I had to say and listened. I asked him if he knew a woman who has passed on with long, straight black hair and the most beautiful brown eyes (the kind you cannot look away from). She appeared to be Native American Indian or at least part Indian. She came to me (she's visited on several occasions) this time just before I was getting in the bath tub for a soak and requested I share with this man her gratitude and love. He made a difference in her life. [As a side note, there's nothing like standing naked getting ready to put a foot in the warm water when something like this happens. Of course, I giggle at the irony as I write this article - vulnerability.]

At the time of the conversation, he seemed okay with the message. Uncertain of who the woman was, he was still appreciative. As we parted ways, I wondered if it was bothering him on some level. The next day I emailed a quick note just make sure I hadn't upset him. I explained, "It's that vulnerability issue - putting myself out there to 'get noticed' (and burnt at the stake)." The moment those consonances and vowels spread across the page, a flash back of the morning I woke up in absolute terror filled the mind.

The dream what horrifying to say the least. However, it answered the question I'd been asking for years - "What's holding me back?" I woke up knowing who it was that turned me into the council for being a witch in the days when innocent women where being burned at the stake or hung. The person was a loved one, a person I (in that lifetime) trusted with all of my heart and loved to the core of my being. Forgiveness, compassion and love surround the dream and still continues to provide me insight.

Learning to trust in the trust of trusting is not bravery ~ it is embracing love of Self unconditionally. Love is the key element to everything... What belief is holding you back?

Into the Light

The sun, only a few hours from setting in the western sky, casted magnificent streamers of light through the maple tree branches above and on both sides of the two-track. The inside of the truck illuminated in an intense hue of yellowish orange. Eyes squinted behind dark blue sunglass lenses, I could barely see where I was going. As I crested the hill and started my descent downward, I giggled to mySelf. Only days ago I felt like the cat in the photo walking past a row of 10-15 German shepherds with the phrase underneath that read, "As I walk through the Valley Of Death, I fear no evil..." Although my version was worded a little differently, it still held the same value. "As I walk through the Valley of Doubt, I fear no failure. I shall succeed by continuing this journey placing one foot in front of the other (even if I have to strangle my ego)."

Courage and Naysayer have become closer friends as September 13th approaches. Listening to the nurturing voice that comes from the internal divine being within versus the ego was much easier this time than in other situations. I spent time with both Courage and Naysaer, and wrapped my arms around Shadow in a loving hug and whispered in her ear, "I love you. I forgive you." I can still feel my breath in my ear.

I have no idea where this path will lead. I am simply trusting. There are daily reminders everywhere in humming neon signs with all sorts of encouraging words to dream big. I continue to ask, "What are the infinite possibilities?" Excitement barely describes the brewing energy percolating from deep within.

You are invited to join me on Monday nights, beginning September 13th, at 9pm EST for Guided Journeys with Cindy on Soul's Journey Radio.

Through our powerful thoughts and imagination a safe and beautiful place is created for healing, insight, clarity and love. Meditations open the lines of communication between mind, body, spirit and divine messengers. Know "the answers" will come in a silent moment - when the mind is still.

In this period of growing awareness, I have tapped into my skills as a Lightworker, intuitive healer and writer to assist those that are ready to align with Self. There is a precious being within all of us eager to share love, wisdom, knowledge and Truth. We can learn so much by taking a moment and allowing the voice of the Heart to communicate.

I would like to take a moment to thank Sahvanna for her kindness, guidance and this opportunity.

Namaste'

Mantra of Possibilities

Spending time and energy working with my shadows, the parts of me that I've buried alive and attempted to keep hidden deep within the interior walls (the naysayer, victim, lack-luster, unworthy, unqualified, incapable and etc.), has provided me with insight and key elements of wisdom.

Becoming friends with my shadow is providing me freedom from the nagging and unjustified monkey mind. As quick as thoughts start down the spiral of despair and nastiness, changing them to beliefs with loving qualities has become easier. Each time another shadow makes an entrance I envision hugging myself and whispering in the ear of the shadow, "I forgive you. I love you." The six word phrase is repeated over and over until the emotions of anxiety, pain or drama settles and I feel more at peace. I know miracles are happening with each expression of love and forgiveness of Self with focus shifting to living peacefully.

Get to know and become friends with ALL of you - even the events you claim as a mistake. There are no mistakes, only awareness. Allow your emotions to guide your internal healing. Joyful and painful moments serve as a compass leading us to our true desires. Without conflict, we would not know peace. Go ahead, tell Self, "I won't be doing that again," when you remember a bad relationship, a less than enjoyable job, a regretted purchase five minutes after it was made. Realizing what you do not want to experience the phrase "How does it get better than this?" can easily serve as a new mantra. Opportunities will begin to open because while you were so busy believing how bad life sucked, it was impossible to see the possibilities. What are the infinite possibilities?

Shadow Work

A day late and much wiser for it. I’m dealing with my shadows. They are parts of me (memories) that I have blocked, are unaware of (from past lives) and have simply forgotten. The shadows are the unresolved issues within me - emotional triggers/reactions/behavioral patterns. And yes, you have them as well. That’s a good thing. It’s time to start acknowledging that side of Self.

Awareness is vital for it holds the keys to unlocking what is either out of reach or hidden from us. The more I’m exposed to the subject of shadows the more I’m realizing how unaware I was to them. I heard the descriptive title shadows for the first time last week and now it seems to be my new theme word. Let me clarify, I’ve heard the word used in the same context, but hadn’t felt its meaning and value as I do at this moment. It’s time to heal another aspect of me – the part that I dread and feared for all these years.

Emotions serve as a compass. When we are happy go lucky and joyful, we are in our vibrational flow and aligned with Self. When we begin to spiral downward with negative thoughts, we are no longer in the flow and life seems to suck big time. It hurts and the more we dwell on the pain and frustration, the more we fall downward like a slinky on a tall, steep staircase. Tumbling with an occasional thud, but the momentum seems to carry us down, down, down until we consciously say, “STOP!”

I’ve found the courage to see the shadow for what it is – a part of me. My shadows affect you and yours affects my life. Working individually on our shadows, yet united, we co-create the lives we truly attract. Let’s begin by appreciating the shadow’s willingness to come to the surface to be recognized. Get to know the shadow and make friends with it. Love this part of me. It serves as another gateway for love and light – the source of healing energy. The biggest realization that I’ve noticed is how I use distraction (television, radio, chores, busy work, and etc) to keep my mind unfocused on the issues at hand. I’m taking time each day, as often as I can, to allow silence to fill the environment. Without the distractions, I am not interfering with my own personal awareness and this provides me the opportunity to become familiar with the destructive patterns/behaviors so I can alter my beliefs.

I foresee this will be a topic I continue to discuss on this blog. The flowing is more or less the suggestions that I’ve noted for me and wish to share with you as it may help you with your own enlightenment:

By being thankful for what you have versus what you don’t have will help a person to get closer to aligning with Self.

Know you are loved.

You are never alone for your Higher Self is always with you and will never ever separate connection with you. We are surrounded by angelic guides gently offering guidance and with freewill we choose to either accept or deny the assistance. Spend time in nature. Talk to the trees, the rocks, the birds and the deer – pausing long enough to hear to their wisdom. Slow down and listen.

There is power in your thoughts and words.

Learn to silence the monkey-mind and turn off the distractions we use to drown out his chatting.

Focus on and see the goodness of Self – the Universe.

Value Self as a Being of Pure Love and Light.

Ask “What are the infinite possibilities?” from a point of positive belief (not lack).

Know that you are the creator of your own reality – Perception and Awareness are key.

Love and Forgive Self. Always be compassionate with Self.

A knowing comes from the Heart; a thought is the current belief in this moment.

“A belief is only a thought I continue to think. A belief is only my habit of thought; it’s only a practiced thought – a belief is only a thought that I think a lot.” –Abraham/Hicks (The Vortex - Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships, written by Ester and Jerry Hicks)

Written Signs

When a particular animal repetitively enters into our day-to-day activities, wonder become curiosity and soon we ask, "Oh, what are the deer trying to tell me?" Like a friend pokin' ya in the ribs to get your attention, the deer have a message. Time might be spent searching the meaning in books, on the internet and some will choose to go within for inner guidance. What about words?

Singular words stick out in a crowd of letters and vowels waiting for me to notice. There have been times when I swear they reach right off the page, grab my shirt collar firmly and say, "Hey, you! Yeah, you! Look at what I'm telling you!" For a period of time the word trust seemed predominate; other times it was love, forgiveness, joy, meditate, and the list continues for pages. Right now it is COMPASSION. I see the ten letter word in articles, quotes posted on social media sites, books, hear it spoken in the post office - everywhere. It's like being back in Jr. High and the English teacher's word of the week is compassion.

"There is a common perception that compassion is, if not actually an impediment, at least irrelevant to professional life. Personally, I would argue that not only is it relevant, but that when compassion is lacking, our activities are in danger of becoming destructive. This is because when we ignore the question of the impact our actions have on others' well-being, inevitably we end up hurting them." -Dalai Lama

The significance of seeing these signs is that it provides us an opportunity for personal growth (if one chooses). There's a sense of 'am I being honest about compassion towards Self and others?' The domino effect can move our internal dialog to ask, "What aspects do I wish to change?" "Is there another way?" "Am I open to exploring new possibilities?"

It is during these moments knowledge expands and the matrix of the Universe exposes a little more of what once seemed hidden. Awareness to options, altered beliefs accepted and again our wisdom evolves. Appreciation for the experiences encourages mindsets to change as the desire to be authentic becomes the focus. Not only do we see the world clearer, we're able to light the way for others who wish to empower the potential within themselves like a lighthouse on a foggy morning.

Soaking in the Words

I was driving down a county road when the cluster of words came to me begging to be put to paper. It doesn’t matter who the phrase is intended for or how they come across the poem. It always comes into light in perfect time.

Self -love, -worth, -appreciation, -gratification may not come easy some days. Years back I found in a book or on the internet to verbalize the statement “I love you” in the mirror. At first I felt a tad bit awkward. Okay, downright silly. I wondered how this was going to help me feel better about the person looking back at me. In a short amount of time it became easier and less (for a lack of a better word) embarrassing. A new sense of pride, appreciation, value percolated and the statement developed strength. There is power in our words, especially the unspoken.

When the world seems less than ideal, I’ve learned it is important to care for the sensitive person inside. Being empathetic is a blessing and at moments not so much. On one hand it makes forgiveness easier because I understand – I feel what the other person is feeling. With this gift of sensitive energy and strong intuition, it took me a long time to realize how easy it is to absorb the ‘not-so-nice information’ internally. Mood swings like a pendulum slamming to the left and then the right without resistance.

“Claiming “I’m fine” with tears flowing internally is a difficult way of life.” –Cindy Kochis

Years ago, I became aware of how other people’s ‘stuff’ affected me. It became very important for me to explore ways to resist the temptation to and prevent myself from soaking up their vibrational energy and take claim to it involuntarily. The ‘ick’ clouds my mood and provides the monkey mind with destructive ammunition. Again, there is great power in unspoken words. The ongoing practice to shield the aura is vital. A few of the techniques I find work the best for me is meditation, journaling, affirmations and an evolving believe in Self.

Yesterday was one of those ouch days at work. My aura was wide open like a barn door and a dry sponge in the heart of it eager for anything. I soaked up the aggression, the insecurity and whatever else was ready to attach to my being. I felt as though I’d been beaten with the metaphorical 2x4 and then toss out into the highway in front of a Mack truck. Splat. It was a long ride home once I completed my shift. After I tossed another tissue into the trash, rolled over, snuggled deep in the safety of my quilts, I recalled what I wrote over a week ago:

“I extend to you

The security of a mother’s hug

The warmth of a lover’s embrace

The joy of child’s curiosity

The peace of calm water

The harmony in a celebrated moment

This is the gift of love I share with you…”

Silence the Bully

Self-talk can be more vicious then the roughest, toughest fourteen year old bully leaning on the chain link fence in the schoolyard playground. Do you voice sincerity or can your words of cruelty out wit and pulverize Self-confidence before the bully even has a chance to open his mouth? People tend to believe in the demeaning thoughts without even realizing it. Go ahead and make a simple mistake like not entering in a payment into your checkbook and finding the expensive error on a holiday weekend. What would your monkey mind (ego) say?

The beautiful part of becoming aware of a once unnoticed belief is when the discovery is made. The Oh... moment when the chin lowers towards the chest and the “I'm sorry, but it'll be okay,” is said silently to Self. It's fine to experience absent mindedness. Considering there is no right way, no instruction manual, you cannot get anything wrong. It is through perception we interpret what's good or bad.

In a conscious effort to living what we feel is a better life, some people overextend their reach and set their expectation too high. They strive for imaginary perfection, doing what they believe others expect of them, and when they fall short lack of worthiness settles in the mind. Learning to be gentle on Self is vital. The harmful words expressed internally will hold us back from joy, peace, harmony...

Attempt as many times as it takes to turn the mental dialog around to listen to what you wish to hear. Sit quietly and begin to talk to Self as you would your best friend, or ninety-four year old grandmother. Console the internal being with encouragement. Embrace her with comforting feelings of forgiveness and love. Talk to the inner child with kindness and with the nurturing voice of a loving parent. Focus on the qualities of life you value and deserve. Cry if need be; it is through the tears we release so many emotions. There is so much power in our non-verbalized words. Use them to reinforce the joy, peace and harmony on your journey of personal growth. Know that life is meant to be loving and kind, you are not here to suffer. Forgive the experiences in your life that have created change. See the situation as a blessing to motivate your desires. Tell Self your dreams and ambitions. Feel the movement of excitement raise your spirits and surround you. Never give up on hope. Miracles happen when you speak with love.

Walking on Words

Tuned in, tapped on to all those words of wisdom. How often is a person's opinion and love-lacking advice taken to heart? I've met a few people who have the ability to toss those conjoined letters and vowels and scatter them onto the floor like confetti with total disregard to the manipulated meanings. There are days I wish I could do that – throw my self-doubts and worries into a heap and simply walk away. Wouldn't that be nice. Like dirty laundry piling in the utility room hamper, eventually it will start to stink and reproduce like rabbits. I can see the headlines now, “Overpopulation of People's Stuff! Watch Your Step!”

Advice seems to be everywhere telling us 'be happy,' 'let it go,' 'no one can take away your dignity without your permission' and yadda dadda dadda dadda. But... What if you work in a hostile environment where the lies and deceptions are so intertwined into the fabric of the office truth no longer exists. The relationship in which you are completely blind to the unhealthy nature of its existence. Or the friends and family members who voice their dissatisfaction to the decision to rock the boat and alter your life to fit your personal desires. There are so many to-the-core realities the simple quote band-aids cannot fix. The phrases of inspiration are reminders and affirmations to help guide desires; a target in the wind for you to shoot towards. All attempts to bury and stifle raw emotions felt without expressing them one way or another will backfire.

If you want change, make the decision. I know, easier said than done. Don't hold back your emotions. In the mood to giggle? Go ahead. Inspired? Create something new. Having a rough day when the weight of the world seems to be crashing down on your shoulders is okay. It's bound to happen. Have the courage to cry. It takes more internal strength to be vulnerable than to manufacture the statement, “everything's fine.” Give power to all of your emotions. Allow the drop-to-your-knees-in-pain moments to be felt and release the rivers of tears to cascade down your cheeks. Be what it is you are feeling in this moment. Once the release has expelled, finding the joyful pieces you left nearby will be easier to gather.

Positive changes begin with seeking the blessing in your current situation. Big, small, it doesn't matter as long as you work towards a loving, nurturing relationship with Self. Practicing peace daily with your internal vocal cords will strengthen your focus and assist you in detaching from the unwanted drama. What does the intuition say when you ask, How is this affecting me now? For you, my words of wisdom goes like this: be who you are without hesitation - be authentic - be You.

Pick a Voice, Not Just ANY Voice

What do you deserve? Are you unknowingly holding yourSelf back because you don't feel worthy, smart or talented? Thoughts of, I'm not good enough. Someone else has already done it. So-and-so is much better than I am. Whose voice are we listening to? If we are focusing our attention on the voice of our Inner Self – Higher Self – the Universal voice – Heart Source – God – that part of You that speaks Your truth – it would express only love.

We could plunge into the deep well of ego, but it's not how I want to share this precious time with you. Not today. Let's journey in the direction of Self awareness. There is peace in our monkey minds when we listen to the soft, loving, gentle and sometimes barely above a whisper inner voice that is Self.

The transition of manifesting reality comes from emotions towards Self, what we believe we're worthy of and where we focus our energy consciously and subconsciously. We deserve to be loved. We deserve to enjoy all of life's bounty. We deserve limitless amounts of joy. You and I have infinite potential to accomplish any and every -thing by releasing fear, the sensation of lack, and doubt. Some days it will seem easier to do than others, but keep practicing. That's all it is. You cannot do this wrong since there is no right way. It is the repetition of strengthening our Inner voice that encourages it to become loud and clear.

Meditation is one way of establishing a stronger connection to Self. By taking even a few minutes when waking up, in a stressful moment, in a joyful moment or as you close your eyes before sleep, will assist in developing your bond with Self. There are many versions of meditation: sitting with legs crossed, hands palm side up resting on the knees and eyes closed; listening to a guided meditation; repeating a phrase/mantra; and even watching the sunrise/sunset. The list is long and I believe you will find your favorite way of traveling inward and finding your sacred space within.

There is so much in life to explore. No matter what someone else has ever said to you to cause any form of heartbreak, they are only words. It's time to step out of the muck, cleanse off and release the binding affects that hold you back. Take a moment and tell Self, “I love you. I respect you. I forgive you and all that have brought harm to me or others. I deserve to give and receive only the purest of love.”

Give your dreams and desires the freedom from the less-than-loving voice to experience your Soul's expressions. -Cindy Kochis

Thoughts of the I in Me

What's up with how people talk about themselves? Recently I was in a clothing boutique and overheard a woman cut herSelf down to the point I was uncomfortable to be within earshot. Sure, years ago you would have heard me rattle on about my obnoxious red hair. I stand out in a crowd of blondes and brunettes. Time has lapsed, the opinion has evolved and I treasure this gorgeous wavy hair that flows over my shoulders and down my back for it is unlike everyone else's. I stand out in a crowd.

Uncertain where this post was leading, I took a break and walked 13 minutes and 27 seconds on the treadmill. I stopped when the cliché what came first, the egg or the chicken filtered into my noggin. Huh? “What came first, the belief or the observation?” Better yet, “What do you expect?” Are you listening for the words of inadequacy versus encouragement? Some people will say such horrific things about themselves hoping the audience (those listening) will do everything possible to convince the speaker they're incorrect. Is this a form of reinforcing disbelief? Why do we do this to ourSelf? The more I write this entry the more questions I create. How can we move out of this vicious cycle of internal destruction?

There's a well known saying, we are hardest on ourselves than anyone else. What would happen if we were to take 5 minutes a day and list only the positive things we contribute to the world? Shame on you if the immediate thought, “this will be a short list,” crossed your mind. With practice, the list will grow in length. There is power in our words - more than we realize. Words have the ability to transform, move, shift, create, inspire, encourage, connect and (most importantly) define our beliefs. You are special in so many ways. What you contribute to the world is unique and is of value. When you speak of yourSelf, seek ways to express your individuality with worthy statements.

Free download: Power of Words worksheet.

Please note: This blog post is meant to encourage awareness in Self-talk. If you are depressed or feel you need help, please seek assistance from a certified professional.

Converting into Words

Deep within each of us is a beautiful Self loving us more than words can describe. Steady waves of pure energy from God/Source/Universe/Oneness fill us with each passing moment. The advantage of being human is the internal vibration has the ability to fluctuate.

So how do you feel? Want to celebrate with dance and laughter? Want to cry? It's okay to cry, be angry, feel the unfairness and unjustifiably diminished. When the wave appears to be receding, take a moment to evaluate your alignment with Self. Bless the current circumstances for it shows the theme your Soul wishes to focus upon and grow. Your emotions are your guide. Give yourSelf permission to feel all the sensations without judgment, criticism or fear.

Maintaining a daily journal will assist in moving indescribable and unresolved emotions into language. It is liberating to convert feelings into words. Write from the current point of view to really get it out of your system. Scream out from the top of your lungs if you want, “This sucks!” Let yourSelf fall apart so you can move through the undesired moment. When the wave of emotions simmers to a ripple, ask, “How can I best serve my Self?” Seek ways in which to feel good and raise your vibration of love. Know you are loved. Unconditional pure love is always flowing to you from the Universe ~ accept and embrace it as yours.

We learn from each other, please share your techniques with others how you align with Self.

Valuing Self

I am not better than you; you are not better than I. We are as individual as we are meant to be and isn’t it wonderful.

Self-worth is a component often times altered by outside sources. For example, someone causes anguish about your hair color (weight, height, job status, intelligence, etc) and at first you ignore the claims thinking they’re just jealous. As the taunting continues you look in the mirror and begin to see what they are saying as truth when previously you saw only beauty. It’s hard to hear that there could be something wrong with us or not good enough or not perfect to their standards. The young innocent child in my head states with a stomp of her right foot and hands on her hips, “But why don’t they see me as I see myself?”

“The roles people play in our life can bring forth a variety of beliefs in Self.” – Cindy Kochis

For the sake of this moment you and I are sharing, imagine a life in which another person’s statements and actions towards you have no affect. Wait, if I believe my Inner Guidance and not the projection of what someone else want me to be… Huh. I truly believe people enter our lives to encourage us to acknowledge the truth we already possess within our Soul. In each of us there is love, beauty, peace, harmony and a Spirit eager to influence the world we walk upon.

Be kind to yourSelf. Treat yourSelf as you wish to be treated. We all crave to hear the words, “I love you,” “I think you’re beautiful.” “You are a wonderful friend and lover.” Begin to tell yourSelf the lines you deserve to hear by turning them into a personal mantra. I am in love with my Self. I see my beauty within and express it to others…” Affirmations can work miracles.

Please note – I do not know why it was so important to share this message today. The initial subject for this morning was literally pushed out of my mind so the words above could be composed. The intent of this channeled message is only to serve as a window for you to look through. If you need council, please seek a professional trained to assist you. Many blessings on your journey and know that you are not alone. You are loved by so many.

Hidden Pain

The phrase “let it go” has been on my mind lately. Not in the sense that I have to let go of something, but misconceptions of the three-word sentence. Let it go has evolved into a mantra we repeat in our determination to be happier people.

“Let go of the heartbreak and everything will be alright.”

“If only I could let go of what he did to me?”

“Why did this have to happen to me?”

All attempts to forget about the person’s actions and situations will not work. Why? Because a festering sliver always comes back to the surface. Think about all the stuff we mentally bury to avoid pain and frustration.

What I’ve learned over the years is the importance of blessing and acknowledging the emotional attachment to the person, place or thing and deciding what it is I truly desire for Self. Allowing myself to feel the joy, feel the pain, feel the emotion I am experiencing in that moment brings freedom. It also gives me the opportunity to view it from another perspective and determine my truth. It takes practice to let Self experience the true, unaltered emotions (moods). Forgiveness is a key element.

Our journey is not about exploring the why’s, it is about loving Self with compassion and without judgment. Does it really matter why you experienced the situation (health, love, change and etc)? Striving to be only joyful while ignoring feeling any pang of heartache will establish energy blocks just as fast as dwelling on sadness. The purpose in life is personal growth. Remember, challenges are our own way of moving us onto the next situation of exploration.

Our perception is the interpreter. Love Self and all involved. Forgive Self and all involved. Feel compassion towards Self and all involved. Live authentically…

Yet to Uncover

“You are a very strong woman, extremely intelligent and gifted in so many ways You have yet to uncover.”
–Cindy Kochis

These words were expressed earlier this week to a very close friend of mine that’s hit a sand trap on her journey. The more I thought about the line I composed the more I realized it fits my situation – anyone’s at some point in time. We are yet to uncover wondrous things about ourselves that we never would have thought possible.

One of the key elements is to be easy, gentle, on our Self. Find ways to turn not-so-good thoughts to be compassionate and loving. By taking time each time to relax and giggle, and explore things that will help you feel good. There is so much we can do for ourSelf, the options are endless: take a walk, learn to paint, go to the museum, learn to play golf, pamper your Self with a massage…

One idea I like to utilize is a Wish-To-Do-List; otherwise termed as a Bucket List. Take a piece of paper and make a list of things you’d like to do, learn, and so forth. Remember, the sky is the limit. List everything no matter how outrageous you may think they are today. Are there things on the list you’d like to do in the next three months, year, five years? Set your goals and leave it out where you’ll see it. Allow it to serve as a reminder. If you hear or read about something that stirs up curiosity, add it to the list. When doubt rears its ugly head, don’t dismiss it. There will be days when you say, ‘this is lame’ or ‘what’s the point’… and that’s okay. Explore why you feel that way and then tell your Self, “This is important me because I want to ________________.” Move forward by altering your perspective to help you see the “positives.” Gift your Self a pep talk. After all, you deserve to have fun, learn and experience new things. There is a world out there waiting for you to uncover.

“Look to the past only to review the lessons, not to relive them.”
–Cindy Kochis