Shifting Directions

Guiding our desires like a compass, emotions inform us of what feels good and, well, what we’d rather not endure for long periods of time.  We achieve wisdom through personal experience. 

The line “there's no such thing as too much of a good thing” offers a very limited way of thinking and may lead to great boredom.  “Variety is the spice of life” invites more possibilities. 

Perspective is a key element in our expansion.  There will be days when a certain situation encourages one reaction, and on another day the same incident could result in a completely different response.  Remember, there is no right or wrong way, it is what it is, and it is all a matter of discovery.

In recent months, I’ve noticed a shift occurring in our personal beliefs.  Many short and long term relationships, employment, family dynamics, and so forth, are being altered as internal values adjust.  What previously appealed to us no longer brings enjoyment.  The familiar way of thinking, and socially encouraged behaviors we were once taught, no longer resonates with Self.   The desire is intensifying for many to see the fear-based illusions for what they are and explore new realities. 

Yearning for change can, for many, causes a great amount of internal conflict.  A vast majority of self-help books, social media sites, and advice gurus offer the recommendation to just be happy; if you can’t - fake it till it happens.  How can a person be authentic and experience growth if they are forcing themselves to stifle or ignore unwanted feelings?  The buried emotions will come to the surface, so why not deal with them when the moment arises?   It may not be easy…but so worth the effort.  When we deny our emotions, we resist the natural process of healing.  Our heart knows the direction it wishes to travel, just listen.  

A Set of Footsteps

A few years ago, on my way to the job I’d cry driving to and home from, I begged my Divine Companions for help. “Please show me love. Show me that someone actually cares… I would like to experience love.”  Oh, little did I know what the following two plus years would bring.  Careful what you ask for is a slight understatement.  I am grateful.

A question I’m often asked is, “Why would you stay in a job that causes so much heartbreak.”  The reason is simple – intuition affirmed there was an abundance of lessons to be experienced.  Awareness would be brought forth either there or the next place of employment or the next until I embraced Self.  It was my choice on how I followed through with the Shadow work – gracefully or face-plant in the dirt.  I did both. 

"The most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently." -Pema Chödrön

I wrote, “I will not fight back not will I argue with you.  I am not weak.  This is my choice.  I am strong.  I see, respect and love the person you are.  And forgive you for your actions.” while three co-workers eagerly attempted to tear ME down with some of the most vicious manipulations.  Weeks, months, a period of time later, I spoke with a dear friend and described how it felt like my tower of Self crashed to the ground in a hopeless pile of rubble; I was broken; wondering how was I going to rebuild?  He smiled, and asked why, since I was provided this opportunity, would I want to use the same bricks and foundation?  Defeated and desiring to curl up in the fetal position, all I could think was, “I don’t wanna start over.”  It took a while to fully grasp his words.

Intuition strengthened.  

Choices made.  

Appreciation of Self evolved. 

“It does not matter what the opinions of the outer world are, but it does matter greatly what is within your feeling.” –Guy W. Ballard

We are experiencing life, perceived only by Self.  Truth is in the eye of the beholder is a profound statement.  The descriptions of love, hate, joy, sadness, wealth, poverty will vary based on emotional interpretations of a person in a particular moment.   Tomorrow the definitions will be altered by an action, event, situation, and so forth.   

"When your mind starts telling you what you have to do to make everything okay, don't buy into what it's telling you. The truth is, everything will be okay as soon as you are okay with everything. And that's the only time everything will be okay." -Michael A. Singer

I am grateful for the hardship of the past couple of years.  For me, it confirmed there is no right, there is no wrong, it just is.  Each of us has an important role and purpose.  It reaffirmed the power of our words – especially when the sentence begins with “I am”.  Everything we seek outside of ourselves is available to us – within our heart.  The fear of loneliness, fear of failure, fear of this, fear of that is imagined… it is only an illusion. 

There are choices.  Do you wish to follow the crowd (and their interpretation of how life is supposed to be)?  Do you independently take each footstep on your journey influenced only by Self’s desire?

Shifting Moments

There are a great number of individuals experiencing a shift in their life. A shift in how they feel. A shift in what they believe. A shift in what thoughts we consider true.

Fear is creating a false sense of isolation and uncertainty as relationships, jobs, life situations are changing. Our intuition continues to console us on this journey, while the ego (reinforced by the things we were taught) would have us believe otherwise. Emotions run high one moment, then drag ass the next.

We are in the process of transforming the beliefs at the core of our being from fear, guilt, darkness, lack into that which truly resonates with Self in its purest form ~ love. There is a peaceful solution; we feel it in our hearts. In the manner in which you are most comfortable (prayer, meditation, and so forth) ask for guidance and for this transformation to be gentle, peaceful and loving. Allow yourself to express all the emotions and resist the temptation to bury and ignore what hurts. Focus and explore various ways to experience Self-love, joy, peace, laughter, pride, and curiosity.

When the moment is right, you’ll decide, “I am content in life.” Soon, without realizing it, you’ll ease into claiming, “I love life.” Please understand this process can take as long as you want it too. The decision is yours. No one can say, “In two week, three days, 6 hours and 42 minutes you will have peace of mind.” It would be nice, but the schedule is based on ones desires in a particular moment. It is a choice.

I personally have found it’s difficult to be in a state of fear when I’m too busy giggling and enjoying the moment. A sense of humor has a tremendous impact in keeping the events of the day light and fun.

At Your Own Pace

Change happens. In most cases, it is unexpected; an auto accident, loss of a job, an illness diagnosis, a spouse reveals a secret...the list goes on.

We all deal with change differently. Loving Self during these times can be a bit trying to say the least. Blame, regret, anger, sadness are some of the first thoughts to run rampant in our minds. In an attempt to find comfort, guidance from friends and family is sought. For some, standing there with the viewpoint of not knowing what to say or do, they offer advice and stir up more painful emotions while Self-image and confidence effortlessly slip away. They say things like, "Get over it." "Good he's gone." "Smile, life could be worse." Or more detrimental, "Buck up and put on your big girl panties." How does this help? How is this nurturing? Show me the love in those statements! You can't find it, because it doesn't exist in those clusters of words.

It's important to feel the emotions swirling uncontrollably in that moment. If you are hurting - feel it, experience it and allow it to be. Know that this is just a moment and by letting the emotions to take their natural course you will heal. Trust that you will heal. And, by golly, experience the situation as an observer. Honestly look at it without hiding, burying, avoiding what is actually happening. Don't try to see the other person's point of view. Don't waste precious time attempt to sort it all out. It is what it is, so be it.

By learning to be the observer, it has been my experience to witness and understand that this situation provided me the golden opportunity to explore ways to strengthen Self; to love Self; define Self-love more clearly.

What makes ME feel happy?
What brings joy to MY day?
What can I do for myself that I wish someone would do for me?

Take the time to feel your emotions freely and without judgment. Be compassionate to the loving person you are and allow this situation to arouse the desire for healing. Only you know what is best for you. Look within, your answers are there. Even if for two minutes, be still - quiet - and listen to your spirit say, "I love you."

Unexpected Christmas Gift

Last Wednesday as we sat facing each other, he cut me off before I could complete my statement, "I'm an easy target for them because I won't fight back. I will not participate in their meanness; there's no reason for it. It's only meant to hurt people in a feeble attempt to feel better about themselves." I sighed, "(They've) cut me down to my core with their wicket words, manipulations and need to continue their nasty dramas. They destroyed my Self-image and now I'm rebuilding..."

"Why would you want to use the same bricks and 2x4's?" he interrupted. "It'll only collapse again. If it didn't work the first time..." he paused for a moment, "You have the opportunity to begin from the ground up. You have changed - evolved - and what once served you, no longer does. Do you really want to rebuild the old you?"

"Nobody is superior, nobody is inferior, but nobody is equal either. People are simply unique, incomparable. You are you, I am I. I have to contribute my potential to life; you have to contribute your potential to life. I have to discover my own being; you have to discover your own being." -Osho

On the night of December 25th, as I lay with my head on the pillow staring into the darkness of nightfall, I heard his voice again - reminding me. "You have the opportunity to begin from the ground up." The heartbreak I endured Christmas morning caused me to notice things about mySelf I was unaware of - habits, taught patterns, learned beliefs of Self.

As the event was occurring, guilt, rage, anger, self-demolishing thoughts filled my mind. For hours after the altercation, I remained in the destructive mode; tearing every shred of my being to smithereens. I'm not worthy.

"Oh my! Did I really think that?"

With that one sentence, I slammed on the brakes to stop the descent into the spiraling out of control vortex that consumed me. An awareness deeply rooted within my soul was forced out of the shadows. I gathered internal strength to build a new foundation - reaffirming the person I truly am. Blessing the situation for the awareness it brought forth, it was released with love and light. IT was let go without strings attached. In the silence of my still mind, I send love and gratitude to all that have shown me their perceptions of me. It is not mine to alter; there is nothing to fix. It is as it is. Everyone has the freewill to develop, maintain and nurture their beliefs of themselves and others. Someday they will see the real me. Until then, I cherish who I am.

I love you. I thank you. All is forgiven. Blessings to all.

Interwoven Messages

Fear is a belief. Fear from a past life can affect this life. Fear is part of our shadow work; an aspect of Self to be nurtured and seen for what it really is ~ withdrawal from Love.

In a conversation with a friend, I asked him if it was okay to tell him something he may or may not believe. He was open to what I had to say and listened. I asked him if he knew a woman who has passed on with long, straight black hair and the most beautiful brown eyes (the kind you cannot look away from). She appeared to be Native American Indian or at least part Indian. She came to me (she's visited on several occasions) this time just before I was getting in the bath tub for a soak and requested I share with this man her gratitude and love. He made a difference in her life. [As a side note, there's nothing like standing naked getting ready to put a foot in the warm water when something like this happens. Of course, I giggle at the irony as I write this article - vulnerability.]

At the time of the conversation, he seemed okay with the message. Uncertain of who the woman was, he was still appreciative. As we parted ways, I wondered if it was bothering him on some level. The next day I emailed a quick note just make sure I hadn't upset him. I explained, "It's that vulnerability issue - putting myself out there to 'get noticed' (and burnt at the stake)." The moment those consonances and vowels spread across the page, a flash back of the morning I woke up in absolute terror filled the mind.

The dream what horrifying to say the least. However, it answered the question I'd been asking for years - "What's holding me back?" I woke up knowing who it was that turned me into the council for being a witch in the days when innocent women where being burned at the stake or hung. The person was a loved one, a person I (in that lifetime) trusted with all of my heart and loved to the core of my being. Forgiveness, compassion and love surround the dream and still continues to provide me insight.

Learning to trust in the trust of trusting is not bravery ~ it is embracing love of Self unconditionally. Love is the key element to everything... What belief is holding you back?

Perception as Reality

Life's been a bit too serious lately. A new project started, another obligation scheduled and playtime extinguished. Simplifying is a new priority. Not everyone agrees or understands and that's okay. The desire to impulsively splash both feet into a mud puddle outweighs their voiced opinions on how they believe I should spend my time.

In each of us is an innate being, a beautiful ray of light, waiting to help us let go of old habits, destructive behaviors and unhealthy beliefs. Truly, it is a mind game. The more we become aware of the drama of feeling sorry for ourselves (for example), change begins. How would life be interpreted if no one complained about money, relationships, jobs and etc.? Think of the peace we'd experience.

"Allow all the emotions to pass through ~ feel freedom by letting them go… Don’t hold on to them (positive or negative emotions) for then blockages begin to form." -Cindy Kochis

Affirmations and adjusting our words to sound more positive are great as long as we are not attempting to cover up (hide) the underlying issues. Convincing Self with positive, choreographed words is not enough, the truth is in the vibrations of the emotions felt. I can tell you how wonderful life is while feeling completely miserable on the inside. I hid my reality from you for one reason or another. The real work is on the inside where thoughts twist and turn, morph and mesh, and create perception.

What are the labels you place on your forehead when you look in the mirror? Actually, do you even take the time to acknowledge the person in the mirror? Are you so rushed in the bathroom while you're getting ready for another day? Often times we neglect to see past the image of the person looking back. Spend time with that individual. Start the conversation by saying, "Good morning, Sweetie. Let's go have some fun."

Into the Light

The sun, only a few hours from setting in the western sky, casted magnificent streamers of light through the maple tree branches above and on both sides of the two-track. The inside of the truck illuminated in an intense hue of yellowish orange. Eyes squinted behind dark blue sunglass lenses, I could barely see where I was going. As I crested the hill and started my descent downward, I giggled to mySelf. Only days ago I felt like the cat in the photo walking past a row of 10-15 German shepherds with the phrase underneath that read, "As I walk through the Valley Of Death, I fear no evil..." Although my version was worded a little differently, it still held the same value. "As I walk through the Valley of Doubt, I fear no failure. I shall succeed by continuing this journey placing one foot in front of the other (even if I have to strangle my ego)."

Courage and Naysayer have become closer friends as September 13th approaches. Listening to the nurturing voice that comes from the internal divine being within versus the ego was much easier this time than in other situations. I spent time with both Courage and Naysaer, and wrapped my arms around Shadow in a loving hug and whispered in her ear, "I love you. I forgive you." I can still feel my breath in my ear.

I have no idea where this path will lead. I am simply trusting. There are daily reminders everywhere in humming neon signs with all sorts of encouraging words to dream big. I continue to ask, "What are the infinite possibilities?" Excitement barely describes the brewing energy percolating from deep within.

You are invited to join me on Monday nights, beginning September 13th, at 9pm EST for Guided Journeys with Cindy on Soul's Journey Radio.

Through our powerful thoughts and imagination a safe and beautiful place is created for healing, insight, clarity and love. Meditations open the lines of communication between mind, body, spirit and divine messengers. Know "the answers" will come in a silent moment - when the mind is still.

In this period of growing awareness, I have tapped into my skills as a Lightworker, intuitive healer and writer to assist those that are ready to align with Self. There is a precious being within all of us eager to share love, wisdom, knowledge and Truth. We can learn so much by taking a moment and allowing the voice of the Heart to communicate.

I would like to take a moment to thank Sahvanna for her kindness, guidance and this opportunity.

Namaste'

Power of Empowering

Feelin' a bit feisty, I let thoughts swirl around fears and employment as I washed the dishes this morning. In view is the floral garden I haven't tended to in two weeks. There's also a hiking trail two miles down the road I haven't stepped foot on in over three weeks. I've allowed working to consume my energy and time. As I stood at the kitchen sink looking at the wheelbarrow full of rotting vegetation in the middle of a pathway, a gentle voice quietly asked, “Where's your focus?”

I smiled. I knew. “Yep,” I said aloud, “I'm not setting my energy on the things that matter the most to me. Huh....” Excuses could have spewed from my mouth, if I allowed, but talk about counterproductive. We as a society worry too much about money, jobs, lack of 'something.' When, or why, did we move away from the rhythm of life – nature – being? What happened to the idea of living peacefully in the moment? Listen to friends, family and Self on a Sunday evening and most likely you'll hear the discord of “I hate Mondays, I don't want to go to work tomorrow, I can't wait for next weekend.” Anxiety builds and more fear is set forth along with annoyance, dissatisfaction and plenty of other unpleasant emotions. Why do we insist on suffering? Ha! Here's a thought, how about I go to work to recoup (rest) from life instead of resting because work is exhausting.

For as long as I can remember I have said, “Tell me I do good and I will do better. I want to hear the phrase again and again.” Honestly, I've only encountered a couple of managers/employers that functions in this manner. Instead most stood on their shaky pedestal tossing their self-fabricated power around like they were the keepers of the kingdom, holder of the keys, instilling fear in hopes to maintain the illusion of control. There's this false premise that in order to feel good about Self, a person needs to knock everyone else off the I-feel-confident-in-myself soapbox. Why? How does belittling a person make anyone believe they are more important and stand on a higher rung of the so-called ladder?

There's a joyful life just waiting to be embraced. Life is meant to feel good. It is our own personal interpretation of _______ (work, relationships, money, and etc.) that holds us in the position of powerlessness. Ouch. We mirror, attract, situations based on what we believe while following our intuition – perception. Motivate Self and Others with love, compassion, and empowering words. There is so much satisfaction in feeling the energy vibration rise when intent is focused on encouraging versus dismantling.

We create our own heaven and hell. The challenge to leaving behind fear is to go within and find the Hidden One – the Shadow – and learn from this aspect of Self. The Shadow has so much to teach. Do not resist this awareness. Seek the part of “I” pushed out of the way in hopes of never revealing. Ah, for only a fool would believe it possible. As a wise one shared with me using visuals tools I could then comprehend, he explained energy needs three three things in order for the current to flow – a positive, a negative and a ground. “It is YOU that has defined positive as good, negative as bad and grounding as the wire that keeps it functioning properly. There is no good. There is no bad. There is only awareness.”

Mantra of Possibilities

Spending time and energy working with my shadows, the parts of me that I've buried alive and attempted to keep hidden deep within the interior walls (the naysayer, victim, lack-luster, unworthy, unqualified, incapable and etc.), has provided me with insight and key elements of wisdom.

Becoming friends with my shadow is providing me freedom from the nagging and unjustified monkey mind. As quick as thoughts start down the spiral of despair and nastiness, changing them to beliefs with loving qualities has become easier. Each time another shadow makes an entrance I envision hugging myself and whispering in the ear of the shadow, "I forgive you. I love you." The six word phrase is repeated over and over until the emotions of anxiety, pain or drama settles and I feel more at peace. I know miracles are happening with each expression of love and forgiveness of Self with focus shifting to living peacefully.

Get to know and become friends with ALL of you - even the events you claim as a mistake. There are no mistakes, only awareness. Allow your emotions to guide your internal healing. Joyful and painful moments serve as a compass leading us to our true desires. Without conflict, we would not know peace. Go ahead, tell Self, "I won't be doing that again," when you remember a bad relationship, a less than enjoyable job, a regretted purchase five minutes after it was made. Realizing what you do not want to experience the phrase "How does it get better than this?" can easily serve as a new mantra. Opportunities will begin to open because while you were so busy believing how bad life sucked, it was impossible to see the possibilities. What are the infinite possibilities?

Shadow Work

A day late and much wiser for it. I’m dealing with my shadows. They are parts of me (memories) that I have blocked, are unaware of (from past lives) and have simply forgotten. The shadows are the unresolved issues within me - emotional triggers/reactions/behavioral patterns. And yes, you have them as well. That’s a good thing. It’s time to start acknowledging that side of Self.

Awareness is vital for it holds the keys to unlocking what is either out of reach or hidden from us. The more I’m exposed to the subject of shadows the more I’m realizing how unaware I was to them. I heard the descriptive title shadows for the first time last week and now it seems to be my new theme word. Let me clarify, I’ve heard the word used in the same context, but hadn’t felt its meaning and value as I do at this moment. It’s time to heal another aspect of me – the part that I dread and feared for all these years.

Emotions serve as a compass. When we are happy go lucky and joyful, we are in our vibrational flow and aligned with Self. When we begin to spiral downward with negative thoughts, we are no longer in the flow and life seems to suck big time. It hurts and the more we dwell on the pain and frustration, the more we fall downward like a slinky on a tall, steep staircase. Tumbling with an occasional thud, but the momentum seems to carry us down, down, down until we consciously say, “STOP!”

I’ve found the courage to see the shadow for what it is – a part of me. My shadows affect you and yours affects my life. Working individually on our shadows, yet united, we co-create the lives we truly attract. Let’s begin by appreciating the shadow’s willingness to come to the surface to be recognized. Get to know the shadow and make friends with it. Love this part of me. It serves as another gateway for love and light – the source of healing energy. The biggest realization that I’ve noticed is how I use distraction (television, radio, chores, busy work, and etc) to keep my mind unfocused on the issues at hand. I’m taking time each day, as often as I can, to allow silence to fill the environment. Without the distractions, I am not interfering with my own personal awareness and this provides me the opportunity to become familiar with the destructive patterns/behaviors so I can alter my beliefs.

I foresee this will be a topic I continue to discuss on this blog. The flowing is more or less the suggestions that I’ve noted for me and wish to share with you as it may help you with your own enlightenment:

By being thankful for what you have versus what you don’t have will help a person to get closer to aligning with Self.

Know you are loved.

You are never alone for your Higher Self is always with you and will never ever separate connection with you. We are surrounded by angelic guides gently offering guidance and with freewill we choose to either accept or deny the assistance. Spend time in nature. Talk to the trees, the rocks, the birds and the deer – pausing long enough to hear to their wisdom. Slow down and listen.

There is power in your thoughts and words.

Learn to silence the monkey-mind and turn off the distractions we use to drown out his chatting.

Focus on and see the goodness of Self – the Universe.

Value Self as a Being of Pure Love and Light.

Ask “What are the infinite possibilities?” from a point of positive belief (not lack).

Know that you are the creator of your own reality – Perception and Awareness are key.

Love and Forgive Self. Always be compassionate with Self.

A knowing comes from the Heart; a thought is the current belief in this moment.

“A belief is only a thought I continue to think. A belief is only my habit of thought; it’s only a practiced thought – a belief is only a thought that I think a lot.” –Abraham/Hicks (The Vortex - Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships, written by Ester and Jerry Hicks)