A Set of Footsteps

A few years ago, on my way to the job I’d cry driving to and home from, I begged my Divine Companions for help. “Please show me love. Show me that someone actually cares… I would like to experience love.”  Oh, little did I know what the following two plus years would bring.  Careful what you ask for is a slight understatement.  I am grateful.

A question I’m often asked is, “Why would you stay in a job that causes so much heartbreak.”  The reason is simple – intuition affirmed there was an abundance of lessons to be experienced.  Awareness would be brought forth either there or the next place of employment or the next until I embraced Self.  It was my choice on how I followed through with the Shadow work – gracefully or face-plant in the dirt.  I did both. 

"The most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently." -Pema Chödrön

I wrote, “I will not fight back not will I argue with you.  I am not weak.  This is my choice.  I am strong.  I see, respect and love the person you are.  And forgive you for your actions.” while three co-workers eagerly attempted to tear ME down with some of the most vicious manipulations.  Weeks, months, a period of time later, I spoke with a dear friend and described how it felt like my tower of Self crashed to the ground in a hopeless pile of rubble; I was broken; wondering how was I going to rebuild?  He smiled, and asked why, since I was provided this opportunity, would I want to use the same bricks and foundation?  Defeated and desiring to curl up in the fetal position, all I could think was, “I don’t wanna start over.”  It took a while to fully grasp his words.

Intuition strengthened.  

Choices made.  

Appreciation of Self evolved. 

“It does not matter what the opinions of the outer world are, but it does matter greatly what is within your feeling.” –Guy W. Ballard

We are experiencing life, perceived only by Self.  Truth is in the eye of the beholder is a profound statement.  The descriptions of love, hate, joy, sadness, wealth, poverty will vary based on emotional interpretations of a person in a particular moment.   Tomorrow the definitions will be altered by an action, event, situation, and so forth.   

"When your mind starts telling you what you have to do to make everything okay, don't buy into what it's telling you. The truth is, everything will be okay as soon as you are okay with everything. And that's the only time everything will be okay." -Michael A. Singer

I am grateful for the hardship of the past couple of years.  For me, it confirmed there is no right, there is no wrong, it just is.  Each of us has an important role and purpose.  It reaffirmed the power of our words – especially when the sentence begins with “I am”.  Everything we seek outside of ourselves is available to us – within our heart.  The fear of loneliness, fear of failure, fear of this, fear of that is imagined… it is only an illusion. 

There are choices.  Do you wish to follow the crowd (and their interpretation of how life is supposed to be)?  Do you independently take each footstep on your journey influenced only by Self’s desire?