Accepting the Answer

The concept of ask and you shall receive is one I once followed loosely; I have witnessed its power and believe in it faithfully.  Like most people, I'd pray for something wonderful to happen, hoping it will fit neatly into the list of wants, begging for it to be all roses and bright sunshiny joy.  It is in my experience:  when we demand an answer, or focus so hard on the outcome, we lose sight of what we initially requested and it seems as though our inquiry fell on deaf ears…again.  Life is the greatest teacher; I continue to learn to ‘expect’, ‘trust’, and ‘accept’.  I expect a response will be provided clearly and at the right moment.  Trust it will be for my highest good.  I may not always like the answer, but I accept it.

Yesterday I posed an array of questions regarding inspiration on elementsofbeautystudio.wordpress.com (another blog I write).  Basically, how and what tools do you use to stir up the creative juices?   Less than two hours later, while scrolling through a spam email folder, I found a letter from a woman who had purchased my self-published book ‘Get A Compass Not A Clock’ from a local bookstore.  V.G. wrote the following:  “Your writing is captivating and transcended me into a quiet and meditative place.  I bought your book and am thinking I’d like to get a couple of more copies for friends and my 26-year-old daughter.”  

"Many blocked people are actually very powerful and creative personalities who have been made to feel guilty about their strengths & gifts." ~Julia Cameron

The first email I read this morning was from a local publication, it stated:  “Unfortunately, the piece is not for us."  For years I carried the belief that to be considered one of the good local writers I had to fit into this social group of authors.  After reading the rejection letter I heard a heartwarming voice tell me, “This was necessary.” 

In this moment, I sit at my keyboard knowing I am paving the path for others to explore their courage and express themselves authentically.  I am proud of my natural talents and of who I am.  I am grateful.  This lesson helped to remove one more writer’s block and reminded me to trust God will lead me to people who I inspire and encourage - and vice versa.  

To answer the questions, "What inspires me?"  You.

“Your writing is captivating and transcended me into a quiet and meditative place.  I bought your book and am thinking I’d like to get a couple of more copies for friends and my 26-year-old daughter.”  -V.G. 

Thank you...

Love or Retaliate - A Simple Matter of Choice

Ending a relationship is never easy for either person.  Based on perception, memories may filter into your mind like a romantic movie or resemble a horror flick.  The choice is really up to you.  No one else can make you think your thoughts.

"Truly there is no reason why the two of you cannot remain best/close friends; loving each other unconditionally. Love is the best gift you can share with each other." -Cindy Kochis

The greatest gift the two of you can share with each other is unconditional love, respect, support and the ability to honor each other's path.  Be grateful for the time together and move forward without attempting to mar, manipulate, or destroy the person with whom you previously intertwined into your life.  The love and experiences you two shared are not meant to simply fade away. 

No matter the mental pain, no matter the history, no matter the gut-wrenching heartbreak ~ allow the tears to flow freely.  Bless 'em; bless him; bless yourself.  Explore various options in learning how to heal and transform the unloving memories/emotions so you can experience the lessons and let go of the 'stuff' that prevents only the love to remain within your heart.  

Unexpected Christmas Gift

Last Wednesday as we sat facing each other, he cut me off before I could complete my statement, "I'm an easy target for them because I won't fight back. I will not participate in their meanness; there's no reason for it. It's only meant to hurt people in a feeble attempt to feel better about themselves." I sighed, "(They've) cut me down to my core with their wicket words, manipulations and need to continue their nasty dramas. They destroyed my Self-image and now I'm rebuilding..."

"Why would you want to use the same bricks and 2x4's?" he interrupted. "It'll only collapse again. If it didn't work the first time..." he paused for a moment, "You have the opportunity to begin from the ground up. You have changed - evolved - and what once served you, no longer does. Do you really want to rebuild the old you?"

"Nobody is superior, nobody is inferior, but nobody is equal either. People are simply unique, incomparable. You are you, I am I. I have to contribute my potential to life; you have to contribute your potential to life. I have to discover my own being; you have to discover your own being." -Osho

On the night of December 25th, as I lay with my head on the pillow staring into the darkness of nightfall, I heard his voice again - reminding me. "You have the opportunity to begin from the ground up." The heartbreak I endured Christmas morning caused me to notice things about mySelf I was unaware of - habits, taught patterns, learned beliefs of Self.

As the event was occurring, guilt, rage, anger, self-demolishing thoughts filled my mind. For hours after the altercation, I remained in the destructive mode; tearing every shred of my being to smithereens. I'm not worthy.

"Oh my! Did I really think that?"

With that one sentence, I slammed on the brakes to stop the descent into the spiraling out of control vortex that consumed me. An awareness deeply rooted within my soul was forced out of the shadows. I gathered internal strength to build a new foundation - reaffirming the person I truly am. Blessing the situation for the awareness it brought forth, it was released with love and light. IT was let go without strings attached. In the silence of my still mind, I send love and gratitude to all that have shown me their perceptions of me. It is not mine to alter; there is nothing to fix. It is as it is. Everyone has the freewill to develop, maintain and nurture their beliefs of themselves and others. Someday they will see the real me. Until then, I cherish who I am.

I love you. I thank you. All is forgiven. Blessings to all.

Soaking in the Words

I was driving down a county road when the cluster of words came to me begging to be put to paper. It doesn’t matter who the phrase is intended for or how they come across the poem. It always comes into light in perfect time.

Self -love, -worth, -appreciation, -gratification may not come easy some days. Years back I found in a book or on the internet to verbalize the statement “I love you” in the mirror. At first I felt a tad bit awkward. Okay, downright silly. I wondered how this was going to help me feel better about the person looking back at me. In a short amount of time it became easier and less (for a lack of a better word) embarrassing. A new sense of pride, appreciation, value percolated and the statement developed strength. There is power in our words, especially the unspoken.

When the world seems less than ideal, I’ve learned it is important to care for the sensitive person inside. Being empathetic is a blessing and at moments not so much. On one hand it makes forgiveness easier because I understand – I feel what the other person is feeling. With this gift of sensitive energy and strong intuition, it took me a long time to realize how easy it is to absorb the ‘not-so-nice information’ internally. Mood swings like a pendulum slamming to the left and then the right without resistance.

“Claiming “I’m fine” with tears flowing internally is a difficult way of life.” –Cindy Kochis

Years ago, I became aware of how other people’s ‘stuff’ affected me. It became very important for me to explore ways to resist the temptation to and prevent myself from soaking up their vibrational energy and take claim to it involuntarily. The ‘ick’ clouds my mood and provides the monkey mind with destructive ammunition. Again, there is great power in unspoken words. The ongoing practice to shield the aura is vital. A few of the techniques I find work the best for me is meditation, journaling, affirmations and an evolving believe in Self.

Yesterday was one of those ouch days at work. My aura was wide open like a barn door and a dry sponge in the heart of it eager for anything. I soaked up the aggression, the insecurity and whatever else was ready to attach to my being. I felt as though I’d been beaten with the metaphorical 2x4 and then toss out into the highway in front of a Mack truck. Splat. It was a long ride home once I completed my shift. After I tossed another tissue into the trash, rolled over, snuggled deep in the safety of my quilts, I recalled what I wrote over a week ago:

“I extend to you

The security of a mother’s hug

The warmth of a lover’s embrace

The joy of child’s curiosity

The peace of calm water

The harmony in a celebrated moment

This is the gift of love I share with you…”

I'm Attracting That?

The repetitive sounds of the waves and the breeze fill my ears with the sweet harmony of bliss. Me and Lake Michigan and wet sand between my toes. Only a few people have claimed their piece of paradise as I find mine. The fold-up chair is placed in a perfect spot so the occasional wave can tickle my feet. Pad of paper and pen ready to capture whimsical thoughts and dreams as odd looking beach bugs scurried on the hot sand running to and fro and rarely in a straight line. These were the thoughts I had yesterday when I began to journal. Quickly they changed as awareness of the law of attraction was making its point.

Here's insight to yesterday's journal entry and a wonderful example of how our vibrations affect what we are manifesting. On the way out here, I was made aware... yes, I noticed it. If law of attraction is listening – paying attention – boy, am I in trouble. At the grocery store, the cashier asked where I was working and if I liked it. My response was less than enthused as I responded, “I'm grateful for the paycheck.” At the post office, the gal behind the counter weighing my box to be shipped mentions she hadn't seen me in a long time and asked where I was working and how I like it. This time I feel a touch of resentment build internally as I told her, “I'm going to the beach for the first time all summer.” The discussion went from me feeling good about my day off to not so good vibrations when I mentioned that I work most weekends and usually work six days a week with several short shifts so I barely hit 40 hours. Wow, at this point my day of relaxation is not feeling so relaxing.

My journal entry then continues: This is not what I want... so how do I manifest things I enjoy, feel valued and respected, receive a fair paycheck for my services, and without all the office drama-luster. My goal is for the highest good for all with harm to none ~ my focus is to assist others. I am a writer with many stories to tell... stories to warm the heart, inspire people to be authentic and encourage personal growth.

“Women are repeatedly accused of taking things personally. I cannot see any other honest way of taking them.” -Marya Mannes

As I sit at my computer this morning allowing my fingers to tap dance on the keyboard I truly see how awareness brings change in various forms. A common thing we as a society whine about is our jobs. I most certainly am not discrediting my employers as I am very grateful I am one of their employees. We have fun and plenty of 'good stuff' is accomplished. The ultimate point being made is to pay attention to how your energy feels when speaking on any subject.

Observing the rise and fall of our vibration can make a difference in our perception. The key element to manifesting is the focus of energy we feel in any given moment. Yesterday, I allowed my emotions to be altered by the lack I was feeling. Today, as I get ready for work, I am feeling gratitude. Joy that I have a job close to home, every time I pick up the phone I have the opportunity to make a new friend and assist them to the best of my abilities, and for the steady paycheck.

Going back to my afternoon at the beach, I made a list of questions to create an internal dialog for change, bring forth emotions and view my desires on paper. I closed the journal after I wrote '...and do what? Listen to the music of the waves and wind.'

Today as you go about your business, note the emotions you feel when speaking – and listening. Are you aware of your manifestations?

Exposing the Internal Chatter

Waking up from an odd dream this morning, I picked up my journal to help sort out the bits and pieces I remember - and the parts I’d rather forget. It was odd. Really strange. As the words were written, the internal dialog morphed into reasons why it's a good idea to journal. It didn’t take me long to realize the subject of today’s blog.

Sitting with a pad of paper and a pen, allow the internal conversation to flow - Self-Love 101. For some it can be considered Problem Solving 101. Who better to answer your questions and advise you on your quest? Who knows you better? Here’s a more important question, “Who has your best interest at heart?”

Journaling is a great way to get thoughts out of our heads and to better understand our emotions. Some pretty amazing things can be discovered this way. Unresolved resentments all the way to hidden joys are given the opportunity to flow from deep within the subconscious and into awareness. During the writing process is not the time to overanalyze. Let the words be as they appear. Once on paper you can decide to review the creation or get rid of it. Embrace or release - author’s choice.

"Remember, there is a creative energy that wants to express itself through you"; "Don't judge the work or yourself. You can sort it out later"; "Let God work through you." -Julia Cameron (The Artist Way, published 1992, 2002, page XV)

The process of the internal dialog can have significant healing properties. Explain and describe your emotions (good and bad, no holding back) the way you feel in that very moment. Once exposed, you can determine if you wish to continue this state of mind or if you want to make a change. Awareness provides us the key elements and opportunity to learn more about me, myself and I. We have multiple personalities that expect to be heard. We embody the Worker, the Slacker, the Lover, the Loner, the Adult, the Child, the Creator, the Destroyer, the Overwhelmed, the Calmness, the Aggressor, the Peace-Maker and there's more within. Each one has a voice and craves attention.

Writing out desires assists in clarifying the I want’s and can begin to pave a trail for the journey, or at least machete chop the jungle growth out of the way. Used as a tool, it can help plot out the baby steps to reach the intended goal. Some people use this technique as a way to work out a five year plan.

For me it was a tool to clear my head and, by chance, accomplish today’s post. After I finish this article, I believe I shall work on that Gratitude List I keep in my journal.

Keep writing, my friends.