Brave Enough to Walk Away from Drama

They strike at the office.  They seek out the opportunity to do it at family gatherings.  They attack your friends and loved ones without mercy.  They are ‘drama queens’, otherwise known as the ‘pot stirrers’.  Like a contagious virus on the kindergarten playground they spread unwanted, harmful, nasty and sickening things around.  And what a shame...

Drama is commonly created by those who are bored and/or unhappy with their own lives. It’s almost like they feel empowered by distributing untruths and half truths when in reality they are actually belittling themselves in front of an audience.  Sometimes the stories are made up in search of attention and approval. 

Here’s a couple of questions to ponder:  Why would someone intentionally deceive?  Are they insecure or jealous?  Do they feel insignificant?  Do they attack other people because it makes them believe they superior, grander, bigger, more important?  

This morning I wrote to a dear friend, whom I've known most of her life, the following (edited slightly):  “Here’s my advice:  Be who you are, live with no regrets, laugh as often as you can, LOVE every precious moment, and never ever allow someone to bring you down into that negative energy ~ be with those people who lift you spirits.  And simply walk away from the drama.” 

Years ago while sitting at a desk being verbally assaulted by two co-workers, I wrote the following as I cried internally: 

“I will not fight back nor

will I argue with you.

I am not weak.

This is my choice.

I am strong.

I see, respect and love

the person you are.

And forgive you for your actions.”

-Cindy Kochis

Walk away from the drama.  It sounds more difficult than it really is because the fear is of what will they do to me next looms in the dark crevasses of the mind.  It takes courage to say, “Enough!”  If you are the one they must share the gossip with, redirect the conversation to one that is more pleasant and uplifting.  Once they realize you do not want to partake in the drama, they'll stop talking to you about it.  If you are the recipient of the attacks, do your best to live your life the best you can and try, try, try to ignore them.  Be kind to yourself and listen your heart as it gently speaks your truth.  Please don’t be afraid to ask for help and support.  There are countless people who can and WILL help you. 

And when you are willing and able, maybe you can help them.

Love or Retaliate - A Simple Matter of Choice

Ending a relationship is never easy for either person.  Based on perception, memories may filter into your mind like a romantic movie or resemble a horror flick.  The choice is really up to you.  No one else can make you think your thoughts.

"Truly there is no reason why the two of you cannot remain best/close friends; loving each other unconditionally. Love is the best gift you can share with each other." -Cindy Kochis

The greatest gift the two of you can share with each other is unconditional love, respect, support and the ability to honor each other's path.  Be grateful for the time together and move forward without attempting to mar, manipulate, or destroy the person with whom you previously intertwined into your life.  The love and experiences you two shared are not meant to simply fade away. 

No matter the mental pain, no matter the history, no matter the gut-wrenching heartbreak ~ allow the tears to flow freely.  Bless 'em; bless him; bless yourself.  Explore various options in learning how to heal and transform the unloving memories/emotions so you can experience the lessons and let go of the 'stuff' that prevents only the love to remain within your heart.  

Resisting the Forward Motion

If I had a dime for every time I got distracted… ya know, a bowl of ice cream sure does sound good.

Distraction - a powerful tool we use to divert ourSelf from moving forward.  We may do two loads of laundry, wash the dishes, clean the garage, reorganize the pantry, watch television, vacuum the car, scan the internet for hours and any other task to delay us from doing certain things we claim we will do soon.  There is a part of us that knows we should tend to these tasks.  If only we could tap into the creativity energy we use to avoid deadlines, mundane routines, etcetera, and utilize it towards our goals.  Just remembered, I need to add honey to my grocery list. 

It’s not for a lack of commitment nor ambition; there are real reasons why we procrastinate.  Awareness can be the first step in moving us forward in our personal healing and assist in transforming a habit, belief, value that no longer serves our purpose.  If you are curious, take a look at how you are spending your time.  It doesn’t matter whether we intend to write the next best-selling novel, paint the dining room walls, clean the basement, complete creative projects, vacation, pay the bills ~ there is a resistance.  Why?  What is holding us back?  If I were to move the sofa over there and the bookshelf over there…                              

"We flood our minds with words!  They mesmerize and manipulate us, masking the truth even when it’s set down squarely in front of us.  To discover the underlying reality, I’ve learned to listen only to the action.” –Judith M. Knowlton

If you wish to explore the possible root causes, and this is just an idea, write in a notebook or on scrap piece of paper (even a napkin will work).  Just write.  Let the thoughts flow effortlessly through the pen without paying attention to spelling, grammar, punctuation or anything else that’ll prevent you from communicating with Self.  Sometimes just getting the thoughts out of the mind can be helpful.  If you wish, start asking yourSelf questions.  Please be loving and gentle on Self when looking within for answers. 

What is holding me back from doing ____?

What do I believe?  Is it self-nurturing?

Did someone tell me I cannot?  Who?

When did I start feeling this way?  Why?

Am I being loving to myself?

Where am I?

What do I dream of achieving?

If I could do anything, I would ___________.

Define your dreams, goals, soul’s cravings.

Describe your perfect job, business, spouse, lover, friend, home, vacation, (allow this list to evolve…)

It is okay to let the words wander and write about your day, a short story, and about your shift at work.  As with any relationship, when we take the time to communicate and express ourSelf freely, it evolves and transforms into something beautiful.

A Set of Footsteps

A few years ago, on my way to the job I’d cry driving to and home from, I begged my Divine Companions for help. “Please show me love. Show me that someone actually cares… I would like to experience love.”  Oh, little did I know what the following two plus years would bring.  Careful what you ask for is a slight understatement.  I am grateful.

A question I’m often asked is, “Why would you stay in a job that causes so much heartbreak.”  The reason is simple – intuition affirmed there was an abundance of lessons to be experienced.  Awareness would be brought forth either there or the next place of employment or the next until I embraced Self.  It was my choice on how I followed through with the Shadow work – gracefully or face-plant in the dirt.  I did both. 

"The most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently." -Pema Chödrön

I wrote, “I will not fight back not will I argue with you.  I am not weak.  This is my choice.  I am strong.  I see, respect and love the person you are.  And forgive you for your actions.” while three co-workers eagerly attempted to tear ME down with some of the most vicious manipulations.  Weeks, months, a period of time later, I spoke with a dear friend and described how it felt like my tower of Self crashed to the ground in a hopeless pile of rubble; I was broken; wondering how was I going to rebuild?  He smiled, and asked why, since I was provided this opportunity, would I want to use the same bricks and foundation?  Defeated and desiring to curl up in the fetal position, all I could think was, “I don’t wanna start over.”  It took a while to fully grasp his words.

Intuition strengthened.  

Choices made.  

Appreciation of Self evolved. 

“It does not matter what the opinions of the outer world are, but it does matter greatly what is within your feeling.” –Guy W. Ballard

We are experiencing life, perceived only by Self.  Truth is in the eye of the beholder is a profound statement.  The descriptions of love, hate, joy, sadness, wealth, poverty will vary based on emotional interpretations of a person in a particular moment.   Tomorrow the definitions will be altered by an action, event, situation, and so forth.   

"When your mind starts telling you what you have to do to make everything okay, don't buy into what it's telling you. The truth is, everything will be okay as soon as you are okay with everything. And that's the only time everything will be okay." -Michael A. Singer

I am grateful for the hardship of the past couple of years.  For me, it confirmed there is no right, there is no wrong, it just is.  Each of us has an important role and purpose.  It reaffirmed the power of our words – especially when the sentence begins with “I am”.  Everything we seek outside of ourselves is available to us – within our heart.  The fear of loneliness, fear of failure, fear of this, fear of that is imagined… it is only an illusion. 

There are choices.  Do you wish to follow the crowd (and their interpretation of how life is supposed to be)?  Do you independently take each footstep on your journey influenced only by Self’s desire?

Shifting Moments

There are a great number of individuals experiencing a shift in their life. A shift in how they feel. A shift in what they believe. A shift in what thoughts we consider true.

Fear is creating a false sense of isolation and uncertainty as relationships, jobs, life situations are changing. Our intuition continues to console us on this journey, while the ego (reinforced by the things we were taught) would have us believe otherwise. Emotions run high one moment, then drag ass the next.

We are in the process of transforming the beliefs at the core of our being from fear, guilt, darkness, lack into that which truly resonates with Self in its purest form ~ love. There is a peaceful solution; we feel it in our hearts. In the manner in which you are most comfortable (prayer, meditation, and so forth) ask for guidance and for this transformation to be gentle, peaceful and loving. Allow yourself to express all the emotions and resist the temptation to bury and ignore what hurts. Focus and explore various ways to experience Self-love, joy, peace, laughter, pride, and curiosity.

When the moment is right, you’ll decide, “I am content in life.” Soon, without realizing it, you’ll ease into claiming, “I love life.” Please understand this process can take as long as you want it too. The decision is yours. No one can say, “In two week, three days, 6 hours and 42 minutes you will have peace of mind.” It would be nice, but the schedule is based on ones desires in a particular moment. It is a choice.

I personally have found it’s difficult to be in a state of fear when I’m too busy giggling and enjoying the moment. A sense of humor has a tremendous impact in keeping the events of the day light and fun.

Revisiting the Bucket

Change provides a wonderful opportunity to explore a new way of being.  As heartbreaking as a change in our relationships can be; there seems to be a large shift taking place.  Whatever the situation, no matter who made the decision, understand life evolves.

When ready, and the decision to move forward is made, it’s time to focus on one’s personal journey.  One avenue is to dig out the Bucket List buried somewhere deep in a night stand, closet or maybe it’s between the sofa cushions.  If lost, then create a new list.  It’ easy to keep promising Self, “This summer I’m going to _____,” and easier not follow through.

Do we avoid these ideas because we are running from something or just running?  Is the internal battle loneliness?  Does the thought of doing something without a companion sends shivers of absolute terror into the core of your being?  If this is familiar, start small.  Do one thing alone and allow the adventure to unfold.  Remember to be gentle with Self, have fun, and follow your adventure.

Life Adjustments

Life is unpredictable, to say the least. It's an adventure. At various points it feels as though you're on top of the world; and other times, no so much.

I'm not the type of person to fluff up the subject of Life-Altering Change with artificial sweetener. When the words, “Oh my God, what am I going to do now?” crossed my lips, I didn't want to hear someone tell me, “You'll get over it,” or “Just think how better your life will be.”

Get over it? Be better? I liked things the way they were. They were comfortable. The routine was predictable. I knew what to expect.

"This is a time of adjustment...
This is not a time to re-focus...
This is not a time of planning...
This is not a time to do anything other than adjusting to your circumstance.

It is okay to rest.
It is okay to sit in silence.
It is okay to contemplate.
It is okay to remain motionless...
It is okay to be just as you are in this moment."
-Cindy Kochis

Change provides challenges, especially when you're broadsided with it. Even if I were to win the lottery, it would bring on a whole series of new stresses. Sounds silly, but when you think of it, ”What do I do?” “Where do I go from here?” “What do I expect from ME (forget about what others think)?”

This is a time of adjustment. Allow your emotions freedom and give yourself the opportunity to feel it to the core. That is when the healing gains momentum. When I'm listening to a friend talk about what they are going through, I listen. It's not for me to know why we have to go through these experiences, understand the “lesson” to be learned or even see the point of it... What I am witnessing is, in some way, life adjustments encourage us to find that same kind of love we feel for others within ourSelf – to feel unconditional love for Self.

At Your Own Pace

Change happens. In most cases, it is unexpected; an auto accident, loss of a job, an illness diagnosis, a spouse reveals a secret...the list goes on.

We all deal with change differently. Loving Self during these times can be a bit trying to say the least. Blame, regret, anger, sadness are some of the first thoughts to run rampant in our minds. In an attempt to find comfort, guidance from friends and family is sought. For some, standing there with the viewpoint of not knowing what to say or do, they offer advice and stir up more painful emotions while Self-image and confidence effortlessly slip away. They say things like, "Get over it." "Good he's gone." "Smile, life could be worse." Or more detrimental, "Buck up and put on your big girl panties." How does this help? How is this nurturing? Show me the love in those statements! You can't find it, because it doesn't exist in those clusters of words.

It's important to feel the emotions swirling uncontrollably in that moment. If you are hurting - feel it, experience it and allow it to be. Know that this is just a moment and by letting the emotions to take their natural course you will heal. Trust that you will heal. And, by golly, experience the situation as an observer. Honestly look at it without hiding, burying, avoiding what is actually happening. Don't try to see the other person's point of view. Don't waste precious time attempt to sort it all out. It is what it is, so be it.

By learning to be the observer, it has been my experience to witness and understand that this situation provided me the golden opportunity to explore ways to strengthen Self; to love Self; define Self-love more clearly.

What makes ME feel happy?
What brings joy to MY day?
What can I do for myself that I wish someone would do for me?

Take the time to feel your emotions freely and without judgment. Be compassionate to the loving person you are and allow this situation to arouse the desire for healing. Only you know what is best for you. Look within, your answers are there. Even if for two minutes, be still - quiet - and listen to your spirit say, "I love you."

Unexpected Christmas Gift

Last Wednesday as we sat facing each other, he cut me off before I could complete my statement, "I'm an easy target for them because I won't fight back. I will not participate in their meanness; there's no reason for it. It's only meant to hurt people in a feeble attempt to feel better about themselves." I sighed, "(They've) cut me down to my core with their wicket words, manipulations and need to continue their nasty dramas. They destroyed my Self-image and now I'm rebuilding..."

"Why would you want to use the same bricks and 2x4's?" he interrupted. "It'll only collapse again. If it didn't work the first time..." he paused for a moment, "You have the opportunity to begin from the ground up. You have changed - evolved - and what once served you, no longer does. Do you really want to rebuild the old you?"

"Nobody is superior, nobody is inferior, but nobody is equal either. People are simply unique, incomparable. You are you, I am I. I have to contribute my potential to life; you have to contribute your potential to life. I have to discover my own being; you have to discover your own being." -Osho

On the night of December 25th, as I lay with my head on the pillow staring into the darkness of nightfall, I heard his voice again - reminding me. "You have the opportunity to begin from the ground up." The heartbreak I endured Christmas morning caused me to notice things about mySelf I was unaware of - habits, taught patterns, learned beliefs of Self.

As the event was occurring, guilt, rage, anger, self-demolishing thoughts filled my mind. For hours after the altercation, I remained in the destructive mode; tearing every shred of my being to smithereens. I'm not worthy.

"Oh my! Did I really think that?"

With that one sentence, I slammed on the brakes to stop the descent into the spiraling out of control vortex that consumed me. An awareness deeply rooted within my soul was forced out of the shadows. I gathered internal strength to build a new foundation - reaffirming the person I truly am. Blessing the situation for the awareness it brought forth, it was released with love and light. IT was let go without strings attached. In the silence of my still mind, I send love and gratitude to all that have shown me their perceptions of me. It is not mine to alter; there is nothing to fix. It is as it is. Everyone has the freewill to develop, maintain and nurture their beliefs of themselves and others. Someday they will see the real me. Until then, I cherish who I am.

I love you. I thank you. All is forgiven. Blessings to all.

Way of Thinking

The conversation took a turn that I truly wasn't expecting. Walking back into the room, my friend says to me, "Don't take this the wrong way, but..."

Unfamiliar with Abraham-Hicks, I played several clips posted on the internet for her to hear. In my excitement of introducing another person to the concept of seeing how our thoughts affect our perceptions, manifestations - our lives - I was shocked to hear her compare Ester Hicks with a dangerous cult leader. The charisma, the repeating of certain words, ability to get people to listen and follow instruction; it was not for her.

Right now there are millions of us artisans, in one way or another, aspiring to encourage others to explore Self-empowerment. Each one has a message, a reminder and on occasion something that sparks a new way of 'being'. Inspiration to create a desired life is one of the most powerful gifts a person can give from the heart.

There are many artisans that'll never know, understand, witness the impact of their work. And that's perfectly fine. Sure, to have the ego stroked and told how wonderful our works of art are offer more encouragement; it's not the real reason behind the passion.

If you think about it, why do we do certain things that make us feel good? Okay, silly question. But is it? Those with the set intention of highest good for all, with harm to none including the Self-help gurus, channellers of non-physical beings, friends, family, and even co-workers all share generically the same message: Love Self.

Personally I would rather learn more about the teachings to look in the mirror and say, "I love you" instead of "Damn you're fat and ugly." I'm all for having the awareness of how positive thinking can, and will, affect what we manifest. Abraham-Hicks' message is clear, "Ask And It Is Given."

Evolving Into Peace

Words laced with poisonous venom fill the minds of many as the ballots have been tallied and the election results published. Like a vicious cycle of a dog chasing its tail, it doesn’t matter who wins or loses, few will accept the outcome and the perception of government will remain the same.

A belief is a belief that you keep thinking. Plain and simple. If you continue to believe that government is corrupt and has filled with lying bastards who are only lining their pockets with special interest money; guess what, that’s what you’ll get. It is the Law of Manifestation.

For your own personal sake, turn the angry thoughts to compassion, forgiveness and support. Yes. Let go of the fear or knowing that they will ‘screw it up’ for what you seek will be found. Start by acknowledging the elected official has a job that few are willing to pursue. Support their courage. Forgive them for (what you believe to be) previous bad judgments. We are human and will make mistakes; it’s how we learn. Compassion to give them the understanding in knowing they have their lessons to experience.

Let go of the fear (evolving from the election). Convert it to compassion and forgiveness. Support the individuals (everyone involved) in a loving manner. This is a pivotal point in how we perceive elected officials and our emotions/vibrations will impact our future.

A belief is a belief we keep believing. Fear can evolve into Peace...if you allow it.

Tap Dancing Fingertips

When's the last time you wrote an email to a co-worker, lover, mother and the information was misinterpreted and feelings were hurt? Or worse, you never find out.

The more technology advances, the less we communicate with each other. Something is missing. We send emails, text messages to cell phones in the middle of the night, instant message via the internet, post a quick note on a friend's social media page; but to me that's only providing a non-emotional exchange of information. And I suppose, some would believe it's easier to deliver news without having to witness the other person's reaction.

How did we evolve into being so unattached that we cannot find the time to talk to a friend face to face? When we communicate it's our vibration - the energy - defining our meanings, our feelings, our intent, our Truth. By putting up the artificial barrier, the emotions are blocked from delivering the message originally set forth. Oh sure, there are the cute little smiley faces and symbols, and bold words typed in red ending with an exclamation mark used to convey purpose. It's not the same.

It's become too convenient to tap on the computer keyboard and send a quick note, saying, "Hi, how are you?" instead of dialing their phone number and speaking to the friend. A quick note that reads "I miss you" will not have the same impact as seeing the individual and telling them in person. All the intended receiver of the message sees is the end result of your finger tap dancing on the keyboard leaving the tone of voice silent and worse yet, the emotions unfelt - unheard. No matter the advancement in technology, it cannot interpret vibrations.

Shifting Gears

Focus is shifting from the sense that we have to get it all done to how can I relax? Realizing that being overworked, bombarded with deadlines, a to-do list without an ending is no longer a desired way of life; we seek serenity.

Meditation can be used to release the beliefs that no longer fulfill our journey, silence the continuous chatter of the monkey mind, balance energies, access internal wisdom, grounding and align with Self. Like exercise, we know meditation will help us to feel better, be healthier and so forth. Even though the intent is there, it's still resisted. Clocks are watched; and for the Go-Getter's on a constant run, the idea of stopping their busy life for 30-minutes (forget an hour) of meditation is put off for another day. Belief that there isn't enough time delays the action because how could it possibly be productive to stop the forward motion?

On the other side of the pendulum, there are those who try so hard they exert themselves to exhaustion to create a sense of relaxation that when achieved, it's not relaxing at all. Go, go, go, stop. Go, go, go, screeching brakes. This way of life can cause metaphoric whiplash. Ease into the new routine. Do it in baby steps if need be. As a friend told me years ago, "Take your time. This isn't a race. It takes practice. What happens when you slam on the brakes too hard? You smash your forehead on the steering wheel; and who needs the headache?"

Done in niblets, meditation does not require a person to sit in an uncomfortable position with index fingertips pressed against the tips of the thumb forming circular symbols to experience inner peace. Inconspicuous ways people meditate without realizing they are doing it may include:

• Taking a long walk through the woods
• Focusing on and repeating an affirmation
• Sitting in a boat waiting for a fish to bite
• Soaking in a warm bath watching the flame of a candle flicker
• Listening to a favorite song that teleports the senses to a peaceful momory
• Stepping outside from a long day at work and taking in a deep breath of fresh air
• Watching the sun set
• Staring out the kitchen window while washing a sink full of dirty dishes
• Loosing track of time while working on a hobby

Truly there is no right or wrong way to experience serenity; what matters is the intent. It is when focus shifts to developing a healthy relationship between physical and divine Self that true love of Self blossoms naturally.

Please share the ways in which you take time for yourself.

Middle of the Night

Ever wake up in the middle of the night with a profound thought that possessed the ability to move mountains of beliefs or at least shift them enough that sleep becomes next to impossible? This recently happened to a very close friend of mind. At 2:12 am this individual sent me the following text:

"Random thought #437: so if we're in charge of our own destiny and set up choices to decide the future, than why can't we see the outcome of our decisions prior to making them? Or do we choose to be blind as to not spoil the surprise of our actions?" -JK (posted with permission)

Ah, the poetry to me senses! Throughout the day as this task was accomplished and another started, the words on my cell phone were revisited. Somewhere in the middle of the afternoon, my friend wrote, "So what's the answer?"

Is there simple approach to the question? One that defines its concept? Nope. The answer is as individual as you and I. We perceive things differently; and when boiled down to the nitty-gritties in the bottom of the pan, our life experiences are still rather simular. It all traces to one complex four-letter word. We share the desire for basic needs, like food, water, shelter, and companionship. Simplifying the list, the key element to it all is (and what it is that we are here to experience) - love.

"Life is what you make it ~ you're the creator. What emotions, thoughts and perceptions are you using to define this moment?" -Cindy Kochis

We have freewill to create the lives to live. We are the creators. Without conflict we cannot appreciate and truly value the meaning of life. Each person, each being, each aspect of this moment was brought into our experience to bring awareness to Self, Oneness and various elements of Love.

So, if you received a text message from a friend asking, "So if we're in charge of our own destiny and set up choices to decide the future, than why can't we see the outcome of our decisions prior to making them? Or do we choose to be blind as to not spoil the surprise of our actions?" how would you answer the questions? Please share with us your answer.

Interwoven Messages

Fear is a belief. Fear from a past life can affect this life. Fear is part of our shadow work; an aspect of Self to be nurtured and seen for what it really is ~ withdrawal from Love.

In a conversation with a friend, I asked him if it was okay to tell him something he may or may not believe. He was open to what I had to say and listened. I asked him if he knew a woman who has passed on with long, straight black hair and the most beautiful brown eyes (the kind you cannot look away from). She appeared to be Native American Indian or at least part Indian. She came to me (she's visited on several occasions) this time just before I was getting in the bath tub for a soak and requested I share with this man her gratitude and love. He made a difference in her life. [As a side note, there's nothing like standing naked getting ready to put a foot in the warm water when something like this happens. Of course, I giggle at the irony as I write this article - vulnerability.]

At the time of the conversation, he seemed okay with the message. Uncertain of who the woman was, he was still appreciative. As we parted ways, I wondered if it was bothering him on some level. The next day I emailed a quick note just make sure I hadn't upset him. I explained, "It's that vulnerability issue - putting myself out there to 'get noticed' (and burnt at the stake)." The moment those consonances and vowels spread across the page, a flash back of the morning I woke up in absolute terror filled the mind.

The dream what horrifying to say the least. However, it answered the question I'd been asking for years - "What's holding me back?" I woke up knowing who it was that turned me into the council for being a witch in the days when innocent women where being burned at the stake or hung. The person was a loved one, a person I (in that lifetime) trusted with all of my heart and loved to the core of my being. Forgiveness, compassion and love surround the dream and still continues to provide me insight.

Learning to trust in the trust of trusting is not bravery ~ it is embracing love of Self unconditionally. Love is the key element to everything... What belief is holding you back?

Perception as Reality

Life's been a bit too serious lately. A new project started, another obligation scheduled and playtime extinguished. Simplifying is a new priority. Not everyone agrees or understands and that's okay. The desire to impulsively splash both feet into a mud puddle outweighs their voiced opinions on how they believe I should spend my time.

In each of us is an innate being, a beautiful ray of light, waiting to help us let go of old habits, destructive behaviors and unhealthy beliefs. Truly, it is a mind game. The more we become aware of the drama of feeling sorry for ourselves (for example), change begins. How would life be interpreted if no one complained about money, relationships, jobs and etc.? Think of the peace we'd experience.

"Allow all the emotions to pass through ~ feel freedom by letting them go… Don’t hold on to them (positive or negative emotions) for then blockages begin to form." -Cindy Kochis

Affirmations and adjusting our words to sound more positive are great as long as we are not attempting to cover up (hide) the underlying issues. Convincing Self with positive, choreographed words is not enough, the truth is in the vibrations of the emotions felt. I can tell you how wonderful life is while feeling completely miserable on the inside. I hid my reality from you for one reason or another. The real work is on the inside where thoughts twist and turn, morph and mesh, and create perception.

What are the labels you place on your forehead when you look in the mirror? Actually, do you even take the time to acknowledge the person in the mirror? Are you so rushed in the bathroom while you're getting ready for another day? Often times we neglect to see past the image of the person looking back. Spend time with that individual. Start the conversation by saying, "Good morning, Sweetie. Let's go have some fun."

Listening to Emotions

You know how people are searching for peace of mind - a source of joy in their lives? It has been proven that meditation is a technique that helps people transform their lifestyles. It provides an open channel that connects them with Self. Through meditation, you can open your heart to the flow of universal consciousness and, if you choose, live blissfully in the present moment.

There are many reasons people take the time to incorporate the action of meditation into their daily lives, it helps in: improving intuition, relaxation, to rejuvenate energy, reduce stress, connect with personal guides, letting go of fears, forgiveness, open Self to love, inspiration and creativity...just to name a few.

We've all experienced a period when life was uncomfortable and it seems everything is going wrong (remember - there is no right or wrong, only awareness), meditation helped me to dispel some harmful beliefs that were falsely held dear within my heart and thoughts. In relation to feeling the sense of loneliness, feeling everyone else held the keys to the happiness as I stood off in left field, alone and empty handed. My dear friend, we posses the power to change. A belief is only a thought that we replay over and over in our minds until we allow it to become reality.

There is so much power in our words. Worlds are created with the emotions attached to the words. When we become aware of the feelings in that moment, we express the beliefs held dear within and it provides us the opportunity to honestly say, "Hey, is this how I want to feel?" Truly it is our choice.

On the right hand column of the OneGigglingWriter.blogspot.com blog is a section of FREE Worksheets & Stuff. There I have added a free worksheet for anyone to download and explore emotional attachment to a handful of words. It's not necessarily the choice of words we use - verbal or non-verbal - it's the emotional attachment we feel when they are expressed. Awareness can create a defining moment for change.

Take the words I love you. Three simple little words. When you say them to a newborn child, it will sound and feel different than if you were to say it to your parents, to a lover, to a spouse, to a pet... you get the idea. It is the extension of vibrations that impacts the world often times unseen ways. Close your eyes, relax and listen to what your heart has to say.

Dirty Toes

Today's blog entry started off in the usual sense with a few words of wisdom formulating in my mind, however I cannot stop thinking of what a friend said on the phone yesterday. The conversation began like any other and quickly converted to one I wasn't expecting. Descending from happy thoughts into ongoing issues where fear is used as a motivator, not praise nor a sense of community.

She pointed out gently how we've spent a considerable amount of time opening and having fun learning how to use our upper chakras and adjusting to the new energies. "It's time to work on the lower ones - mainly the root chakra." The upper chakras represent communication and the ability to hear/see/speak with the divine. It's time to do something with the knowledge and move into the areas of resistance and continue the healing process.

The root chakra is the grounding chakra in respect to a person's connection with Mother Earth. It is also a power source. The key element is survival. There are many of us that are feeling the discord of this region: security, money, relationships, self-worth, trust, a sense of feeling grounded. What I found interesting on the internet was how many shared the same suggested therapy for balancing the first chakra - "Walk barefoot in nature," "Hug a tree," and "Dance." Basically any physical movement that makes you more aware of your body will strengthen this powerful chakra.

And, sad to say but worth mentioning, in my quest for information I came across a site that talked about the root chakra being sexual and if you craved sex or had no desire for it, then "stop reading here" because there's no help for you. Huh? Are they serious? There's always a solutions. Pay no attention to those who use fear to guide you. There is always hope.

So, can it be this simple? Dance barefoot in nature. Why not? Opening the heart charka is easily done with Love.

Thoughtful Choices

'Careful of your thoughts' is an understatement for they possess more power than we acknowledge. Thoughts create perceptions and formulate beliefs to be held as current Truth. This is not a new concept, just one that should receive more attention.

The things our minds dwell on (work, relationships, money, status) puts focus on our intent - the experiences we wish to attract into our lives. If thoughts are centered on how horrible Monday is going to be at work, the person seeks out to notice all the challenges of the day to confirm the desire (belief) without recognizing any joy. It is, afterall, what Self is expecting. And when the day goes better than expected, that person will believe it was only a fluke and that won't happen again. Well, maybe on Friday. Here's something to ponder, people are typically fired or let go from their jobs on Fridays - not on a Monday.

Let's chat about relationships, shall we? This is a very sensitive subject to most. The number one question a psychic is asked is in regards to relationships. "Will I ever meet my soul mate?" "Does he love me?" "Is she the one?" "Will this relationship last forever?" "Will we get married?" If you think about it, the person asking has already set doubt into motion - perception established. If the questioner were to sit quietly in the energy of the relationship and listen to the heart, the answer is already there because you are creating it. The ego, on the other hand, may certainly have a completely different answer. "I'm not worthy of his love." "She'll take care of all my needs." "Can't wait to see So-and-so's reaction when I bring him to the party."

Your choice in music, movies and television shows can also alter your manifestations. Listen to the influential words when you sing along with the radio. Are you singing about love gone bad or of the power of love? Is the television show jam backed with violence and deception or about a supportive friends? Our emotions guide our perceptions, in turn establishing our desires. How do you feel when listening to a favorite song? Seriously. Does it help you to heal from a heartbreak or stir up emotions of lack, doubt, failure? Compassion or rage... Our words, verbal and internal, hold more power then our awakening minds can comprehend.

Ask youSelf, "What would happen if I changed my perception?" Look at any situation in your life. We get so wrapped up in our emotions that sometimes we miss the miracles of the moment. Yes, the Miracles of the Moment. There are reasons (lessons) we experience what we currently consider less than desirable events. They serve as a compass to direct our course and, in some cases, force a necessary change in our awareness. Be open and available to new possibilites, new understandings and allow the wall of self-righteousness to crumble to the wayside. Be curious as a young child and know there is no right or wrong decisions - only awareness.

"Sometimes, by taking a moment to return to where you are right now, you will be able to see the moment with greater clarity and insight and the next step on your ongoing journey will be clearer as well." - Brian & Wendy Froud from "The Heart of Faerie Oracle"

Loving the Naysayer

Forging past fear appears easy on the big screen as we encourage the hero from the safety of a cushioned theater chair. It can be another thing to stand up in the face of our own fears to move past self-imposed challenges. Fight or flight. Stand up sit down. Do it yourSelf or pray that someone else will come along to handle the situation. An old way of thinking is to have everyone else decide how to find the looming solution or seek out someone willing to stroke the ego enough to boost the internal courage hidden behind the spinal cord to come forth.

It takes practice and determination to let old beliefs fall to the wayside. As mentioned over and over, there is no right or wrong decisions - only awareness. Each choice causes a ripple effect. The problem lies in the lack of decision making while waiting for an exterior source to help. Fear can be crippling as it creates more fear until there is no movement. Yikes! In order to grow, find peace, experience joy, laugh, love, some kind of motion has to take place. Take in a deep breath and allow your shoulders to relax as you exhale. Feel better? Yeah me, too.

Inside all of us is a wise one that knows only Truth. Find time each day to pause and listen to the internal voice through meditation, reflection, daydreaming, staring off into the distant sunset and even during a long hot shower. Learn a variety of techniques to quiet the chattering monkey mind. Excuses can be found as to the why not's. What do you desired? How can you expand your experience? How can it get any better than this?

Recently I've made a significant decision. And it was easy. I trust my inner voice. Yes, it will involve spending money. Yes, it involves going more public with my services. And yes, I am feeling fear. I also know from the depths of my being this is the path in which I desire to journey. Listening to Self during quiet moments, I gracefully understand how many different experiences have lead to this moment - a manifestation. There is a stubborn, nay-saying three year-old girl sitting on my right shoulder that I've asked to be my friend. I'm listening to her fears and embracing them. I am nurturing fear with love. What better way can you think of to develop a healthy relationship? The more I love and get to understand the three year-old naysayer, the softer her tantrums and the complaints lessen. Somehow she will get my attention. I rather it come through love.