Friends who care about my mental stability are now emailing me links and forwarding encouraging words to help light a fire under my fingertips in hopes they will dance on the keyboard again. "Breathe, damn you, breathe!" I beg the ten lifeless appendages.
By chance, pure luck (or maybe I manifested it), I came across a blog post - http://marjoriemliu.com/blog/you-will-be-rescued/ - that made me say to myself, "There is a thread dangling. Yes. Yes, a heartbeat." Realistically I don't expect to finish the novel in a month (oh, wouldn't that be nice!), but just enough inspiration to lift the lid on my laptop and find the lonely file that I've avoided for so long.
"Often, though, you just have to wait for a quiet moment when some odd sensation slips back into you — a little thread, a tiny beat, the edge of something that you can hold on to." -Marjorie M. Liu
A week ago in a conversation with a good friend, about the power of our words, he was quick to remind me of how I talk of my novel. Blocked. Blocked. Wordless heap of nothingness. He said, "Stop talking about it. Stop thinking about it. Every time you say anything about the novel it's always about how you have nothing to write. Simply walk way from it and let it grow on it's own." His words made me realized that I was smothering the story like a mother-in-law inspecting their grown child's house - searching out every flaw until her presence was known that she didn't approve of his spouse's housework. Oh my...
For the past week, I have not thought about, shared any details, or even looked at the laptop begging for forgiveness. I simply stepped away as suggested...until twenty minutes ago. I may have found the thread I was looking for and it was here all this time.
"Leap and the net will appear." -Julia Cameron
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