Change happens. In most cases, it is unexpected; an auto accident, loss of a job, an illness diagnosis, a spouse reveals a secret...the list goes on.
We all deal with change differently. Loving Self during these times can be a bit trying to say the least. Blame, regret, anger, sadness are some of the first thoughts to run rampant in our minds. In an attempt to find comfort, guidance from friends and family is sought. For some, standing there with the viewpoint of not knowing what to say or do, they offer advice and stir up more painful emotions while Self-image and confidence effortlessly slip away. They say things like, "Get over it." "Good he's gone." "Smile, life could be worse." Or more detrimental, "Buck up and put on your big girl panties." How does this help? How is this nurturing? Show me the love in those statements! You can't find it, because it doesn't exist in those clusters of words.
It's important to feel the emotions swirling uncontrollably in that moment. If you are hurting - feel it, experience it and allow it to be. Know that this is just a moment and by letting the emotions to take their natural course you will heal. Trust that you will heal. And, by golly, experience the situation as an observer. Honestly look at it without hiding, burying, avoiding what is actually happening. Don't try to see the other person's point of view. Don't waste precious time attempt to sort it all out. It is what it is, so be it.
By learning to be the observer, it has been my experience to witness and understand that this situation provided me the golden opportunity to explore ways to strengthen Self; to love Self; define Self-love more clearly.
What makes ME feel happy?
What brings joy to MY day?
What can I do for myself that I wish someone would do for me?
Take the time to feel your emotions freely and without judgment. Be compassionate to the loving person you are and allow this situation to arouse the desire for healing. Only you know what is best for you. Look within, your answers are there. Even if for two minutes, be still - quiet - and listen to your spirit say, "I love you."
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